Why I wish I really could control the Black Eyed Peas at the push of a button like in the Best Buy commercial

and while we're making buttons in Paint...

Guess which software was used to create this banner

The time at which I heard an ice cream truck drive outside my window on my dead end street in the woods

8:19 PM

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo related gambling

Over/Under:

Hairy female armpits
3

Women with bad teeth
2

Self-conscious reference to sequels
1

Fat, masculine German women
2

Swedish blondes
4

Italian women with moustaches
2

I'VE GOT THIS FUCK RIGHT WHERE I WANT HIM

As hits from searches for Lori Beth Denberg have diminished (and hits from searches for all things Andy Milonakis have skyrocketed if only for the broken link on the side there), remain one of the leading authorities on the web for all things Bowflex. Yesterday, someone searching for Bowflex found this post from December where he left this anonymous comment.

I was justm watching one of those obesity shows on the heatlh channel and they were documenting this guy that lost 130 pounds but had a lot of excess skin. The name of the show was something like Beyond Obesity - The Final Cut. The interesting thing about it was the guy they getting the skin removed was, I think, the same guy from that Bowflex commercial, talking about guys eating subs to lose weight and not seeing them with their shirt off. Here's the kicker, the guy (his name is Brad Ryan) had the gastrobypass surgery to loss the weight. You can see the scars on his torso. I wondered why the bowflex commercial only showed from his pecs up. What a scam.

I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT. You see? You see "Brad Ryan?" THIS is what happens when you fuck with Jared Fogle. You see the thing you didn't understand when you started talking shit was that Jared Fogle has a veritable army of fans who, if you cross a certain line, will not hesitate to TAKE YOU THE FUCK DOWN. So there it is, "Brad Ryan" and Bowflex. YOU'RE THROUGH. OVER. DONE.