Art Horn in: "The Wreck"

(background)

From: boxley fryer
Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: [ART HORN]
Date: Dec 22, 2005 11:00 PM
Subject: Art Horn in: "The Wreck"
Reply Reply to all Forward Print Add sender to Contacts list Delete this message Show original Message text garbled?

Dear Art Horn,

My name is Boxley Fryer. I am a student at Trinity College in Hartford and an aspiring filmmaker. I am writing to you today to ask if you would be interested in making a film I would like to make. It is called "The Wreck" and it is the story of four people who are shipwrecked on a tropical island. The characters are as follows:

NEIL: Neil is a nervous professional wrestler who goes by the name "Woodywood" in the ring. He is recently divorced and, as a result, has begun cutting himself again as he did back in high school. He is asexual. If you were to play this part, you might need to build some muscle to play the part of the professional wrestler, but if you're still in the shape you were in from the last time I saw you, then there shouldn't be much of a problem.

MAXWELL: Maxwell is a spoiled urban teenager who does little else but sit around and sunbathe and masturbate while the others work and gather food and supplies. He throws himself off a ledge midway through the movie which sparks the turning point in the other characters and brings them together. Though I had envisioned him as a teenager, you could play this part if you wanted, it would only take a few rewrites and creative camera work.

EMILY: Emily is a mother of three. She believes her husband and children died in the shipwreck. She is only a secondary character as I don't really know how to write dialogue for women. This is the only part you could not play as it is a woman.

MUHAMMAD: Muhammad was arrested by Coalition forces in Afghanistan and was on the ship as he was being shuttled to Guantanamo Bay. He is virulently anti-American and devoutly Muslim. He violently lashes out at each and every one of the characters at one point during the movie, but by the end, being in such close quarters with these people gives him a renewed appreciation for western life and ideals and the realization that they too have a right to exist. I think you would be great in this role myself, but again, I am leaving it up to you.

I have not yet written the script, obtained funding, scouted locations, etc. Writing the above and coming to you is the first work I've done on this film so far; I felt it important to secure marketable talent before embarking on what could eventually be a futile quest. I cannot even guarantee this film will ever be made, but please let me know what you think regardless. Your help would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Boxley Fryer

Fryer Films

You can't touch a Flame when it's red hot

I'll say

So many great moments in this video, I'm compelled to give you a play-by-play.

0:14--We see fingers moving on a trumpet as the note stays the same. And I think a deaf person could better approximate the sound of a trumpet with a cat and a mailbox.

0:30--A trombone player looking absolutely petrified. Never have I seen a man more frightened in my entire life. God knows what's happening off screen, but whatever it is, it's horrific.

0:39--CUT TO: The worst moustache you've ever seen in your life for entirely too long.

0:49--And suddenly a new contender has emerged.

1:02--Three singers, once voice. They obviously got the job with the sheer intensity they show when they lip sync.

1:13--The guy who was just singing into the camera turns away, revealing the most self-satisfied look I've ever seen. This guy knows he is better than you.

1:37--The keyboardist is so intent on getting his part right that he can't even break his focus long enough to look at the camera until he absolutely must.

1:40--The singer looks like every Russian foot soldier villain in every video game I have ever played.

2:14--Nice transition from the petrified trombone player to the trumpetist who could not possibly be more bored.

2:22--How long do you think it took the choreographers to get those hockey goons together on that neat little guitar move?

2:47--Gay.

2:58--Who gave the equipment manager a verse? And how did the equipment manager get six inch dents on both sides of his head?

3:07--This guy's straight out of a Nazi propaganda film. I've never seen a more perfect Aryan in my life.

3:21--"Like a magic thing that can't be bought."

3:30--Like the Joe Cocker of hockey.

3:46--RED HOT!