The Fork showed me
this.
Ultimate
Christian
Wrestling.
Spreading the Gospel through kicking the crap out of one another. It's a beautiful thing.
Of the many things worth seeing on the site, the Talent page is worth browsing in full. My favorite is either "Batman," "Beautiful" Bruce Biggins (who wasn't looking so beautiful when his picture was taken way back in 1992--check the lower right corner of his photo), Dustin Powers or Josh Storm, born in 1988. And--I can't believe I'm saying this--I think Scottywood could take him.
The site also has a message board or "
prayer board" that has some great stuff too. Though it seems to be gone from the site now, there was a suggestion that UCW create a video game. The suggestion was about seven lines long and contained no punctuation of any kind. I almost passed out by the time I got to the end and I hadn't even been reading it aloud. After someone replied to criticize the fellow's grammar, he shot back with what is my new life's philosophy or catch phrase or something:
"jesus wouldn't care why should you"
I've even considered making that the new subtitle for the site (or whatever the thing up there below "SHRIMP PRODUCTS" is called) but I'm not sure I'm sick of the one I've got up there yet.
Other choice lines, and I've got to say, the way the religion mixes with the wrestling is nothing short of brilliant:
"NAY SAYER, You asked, "What would Jesus Do?"
Jesus would put his name on everything he said.
JESUS would not be a coward and hide behind a "SIGN ON NAME."
When Jesus speaks - he has the AUTHORITY OF GOD in each phrase.
WHen you speak - You just have an opinion behind you.
Opinions are like rear ends - Everybody has one - Yours really stinks.
If you don't like what we put on the UCW Web page - come to a crusade and talk to me about it like a man.
Bring your literature and research and let's sit down and go over it.
Otherwise - shut up with your whining and crying.
I am certain that the FOUNDING FATHERS were Far from perfect. They DID, HOWEVER, bring this country about based on CHRISTIANITY.
I really don't care how they felt about anything else.
I refuse to sit here, LIKE YOU, and pass judgment on them for their sins.
That is GOD's Job.
Why don't you back up - shut up - get prayed - and look up.
Christ is coming soon.
GET READY!!!!!
ADONIS - OUT"
"I do not see how drop kicking a ladder into another man's chest or suplexing a man through a table is teaching the ministry of Jesus. What would Jesus do? He would probably condemn you all to hell for this blasphemous act."
"One of the first matches I went to was about when two good guys for team UCW was battleing two bad guys from evil inc. and one of the good guys turned on his partner and team evil inc. won the match, and it didn't take me long to get the message from the match, Judus sold out JESUS, PLAIN AND SIMPLE [...] Remenber!! Satin is everywhere."
That's right, folks. Satin is everywhere. And now, a special Shrimp Products phototribute to the brave ministry of UCW.
