A Pitch

A couple is having problems with their marriage. The wife is detached, the husband wants to improve the situation but is too timid to do anything about it, not that he knows where to start anyway. One day while he's at work, someone puts a flyer for a "Revitalize Your Marriage!" cruise on his car. He sees it as a sign and insists they go on the cruise.

The wife is cynical, but they have an unexpected connection on the first night of activities. The husband thinks that their problem has been resolved. That night, he steps out of the room to buy some cigarettes for his wife, but he forgets his wallet. Stepping back into his room, he finds his wife sleeping with a large Italian mate on the ship. He is devastated and hides in a lifeboat sobbing.

His wife runs out to look for him, with the Italian man just behind. They give up and climb into a lifeboat of their own. The husband is disgusted to hear them having sex in the adjacent lifeboat and is about to climb out when there is an explosion on the ship. He is knocked unconscious by a falling beam and slumps back down in the lifeboat. The rest of the passengers, who were down in the basement of the ship for another activity, rush upstairs but find the path to the lifeboats hopelessly blocked, sentencing thousands of them to death.

The husband wakes up the next morning on a strange deserted island. He finds another person there, who tells him there were only four survivors, but miraculously, the kitchen of the ship and all the food that was to be served to thousands of people on the two week cruise has washed ashore. The husband is stunned and is pointed in the direction of the other survivors. He finds them sitting around the campfire: his wife and the Italian.

So now the four of them are on this island: the husband, his wife, the man he caught his wife sleeping with the night before, and an awkward man afraid of confrontation. The husband is forced to deal with his anger and resentment at his wife's betrayal, the wife with her restlessness and resentment at her unfulfilling life. I don't know how it should end.

A possible joke is that the cruise is hosted by a famous television personality, like Oprah. She survives as well, but faced with the desperation of the situation, throws herself off a cliff the first day. Her head hits a pointy rock and she is decapitated.