Bad Emo Lyrics of the Day

You know what this place needs? The insecure scrawlings of whiny eunuchs. That's why I'm bringing you the Bad Emo Lyric of the Day. Today's selection is from the heroes of whiny, self-obsessed, self-pitying losers and vapid high school girls across the country. "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional.

Breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep,
this air is blessed,
you share with me.
This night is wild,
so calm and dull, [This is the kind of line that forces a high school English teacher to swallow his pride, write "nice juxtaposition," and lament his missed opportunities.]
these hearts they race,
from self control.
Your legs are smooth,
as they graze mine,
we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me. [That's funny, because my hopes are so high that this kiss will kill this guy too. Well, anything will do, I guess. A kiss, a bus, a comet...beggars can't be choosers.]
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery, [Some folks will do anything for a rhyme.]
which ever you prefer.

The words are hushed lets not get busted;
just lay entwined here, undiscovered.

Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"hey did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb. [Some folks will do anything for meter. I think the only way to make this line any worse would be to say something like "That is, like, so dumb!"]
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear...
so we can get some. [What woman can resist this beautiful linguist? This poet, this romanticist, this master of the language of love. "Stay quiet so we can get some."]

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late [Ha!]
and this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet
and the gate was locked so I jumped it,
and I let you in.
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
and I knew,
that you meant it,
that you meant it.

When one searches for Dashboard Confessional lyrics on the Internet, he inevitably runs into some sites dedicated to bad teenage poetry. So if you can't get enough whiny self-pity, check out this site. It's less fun than it could be since the poetry is submitted by people who can laugh at their bad teenage poetry phase as opposed to sincere goons at whom we can laugh, but there's still some pure gold, as Bania would say.