A whiny emo girl hired two people to kill her mother and happened to keep a blog as well, entitled...wait for it...MY CRAPPY LIFE. Someone up top has been deleting her most recent posts, like the one that said "someone murdered my mom" (she neglects to mention that she knew exactly who because she told them to) which had something like over 3000 comments. So is that what I have to do to get some readership around here? Not interested (that was my mandatory joke-killing "keep the Feds off my ass" line). I glanced through a page or two of the comments and they weren't as good as the ones in the heyday of the Ashlee Simpson fun. As of now, I have not seen a single mention of Garbasail (which is more significant than you, by the way). But I'm glad this post was discovered first by someone with a sense of subtlety.
BAD TEENAGE POETRY UPDATE: Of course there had to be some somewhere. Right now it's on the front page.
"Ode to Suicide"
Pain consumes my body,
eating away like lye.
Tearing at my flesh,
no more tears left to cry.
Nobody loves me,
nobody cares.
Why continue on?
I want out of these snares. [I laughed out loud at that line. And not just because she's replaced her snares for shackles. Doesn't exactly have a gift for rhythm, this one.]
Relief and release,
is what you bring to me. [Maybe this should have been called "Ode to the Hitmen"]
No more matters to cry for, [no more "matters?" It's the middle of the line, you're obviously not concerned about meter, any word will do, and you pick "matters?"]
I can finally be free. [Or imprisoned. Same difference.]
wow I suck amazingly at poetry.
You know what bugs me about that last little line? It's false modesty. Or at least no more true than her idiotic notions that "life sux, its meaningless, theres not point in going on." She thought it was good enough to post it, didn't she?
Some nice comments on that page too.
Been a while since I've read this... (Anonymous) 2004-09-23 20:14 [before the murder] You're not alone you know. I know it might feel that way sometimes, but I'm sure there's somebody out there that loves you very much. I'd bet my life on it. ^_-
Re: Been a while since I've read this... shiningglory 2004-11-27 05:04
I wouldnt bet your life on it if I were you. She might take you up on it.
(Anonymous) 2004-11-26 08:36
Sweetiedarlingemotits, suicide involves killing yourself. Recent news reports suggest you're unclear on the concept.
she_saw_stars 2004-11-26 19:25
Damn, where were you two weeks ago?!nakedinnj 2004-11-27 06:14
Free as a jail bird...Tell Big Bertha I say hello.
GROSS OVERSIGHT ON MY PART UPDATE: Get up to speed on the facts to better appreciate the horrible hilarity.
THIS GIRL IS PRESCIENT UPDATE:
they hold the key to my chamber
locked within it's depths.
never to see the sunlight,
and contemplating death.
starving more than one way
soul and body combine,
the pain curses through
sending chills up the spine.
will I live to see the stars?
the sunrise once more?
or will I wither and rot
my heart gone forevermore.
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