From "Seinfeld"

The Race

(In order to convince his girlfriend Lois and her boss Duncan that he beat Duncan fairly in the big race in ninth grade (though he got a head start), George is pretending he hasn't seen Jerry in years to support his side of the story. The script alone doesn't do justice to the scene.)

[George enters]
DUNCAN: That's what I've always wondered about.
JERRY: Well, I . . . [sees George]
GEORGE: Oh, my God, No, oh my God, . . . Jerry!
JERRY: I'm sorry, uh,
GEORGE: George, George Costanza!
JERRY: Oh, George Costanza , Kennedy High.
GEORGE: Yes yes yes This is unbelievable.
DUNCAN: Hi, George
GEORGE: Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, don't tell me, don't tell me. It starts with a . . . Duncan Meyers. Oh, wow, this is something. I haven't seen you guys in what, twenty years?
JERRY: This is Lois.
LOIS: Hello.
GEORGE: So what have you been doing with yourself?
JERRY: I'm I'm a comedian.
GEORGE: Ah ha, well, I really wouldn't know about that. I don't watch much TV. I like to read. So what do you do, a lot of that "did you ever notice?" this kind of stuff.
JERRY: Yeah, yeah
GEORGE: It strikes me a lot of guys are doing that kind of humor now.
JERRY: Yeah, yeah. Well, you really got bald there, didn't you?
GEORGE: Yeah, yeah.
JERRY: You really used to have a think full head of hair.
GEORGE: Yeah, yeah. Well, I guess I started losing it when I was about twenty-eight right around the time I made my first million. You know what they say. The first million is the hardest one.
JERRY: yeah, yeah.
LOIS: What do you do?
GEORGE: I'm an architect.
LOIS: Have you designed any buildings in New York?
GEORGE: Have you seen the new addition to the Guggenheim?
LOIS: You did that?
GEORGE: Yep. And it didn't take very long either.
JERRY: Well you've really built yourself up into something.
GEORGE: Well, well, I had a dream, Jerry.
JERRY: Well, one cannot help[ but wonder what brings you into a crummy little coffee shop like this.
GEORGE: Well, I like to stay in touch with the people.
JERRY: Ah, you know you have a hole in your sneaker there. What is that canvas?
GEORGE: You know my driver's waiting, I really should get running. Good to see you guys again.
JERRY: George, George, hang on. I haven't seen you in so long.
GEORGE: Ha, uh,
JERRY: I thought we might reminisce a little more. You know Duncan and I were just taking about the big race.
GEORGE: Oh, the big race.
JERRY: Yeah.
GEORGE: Yes, yes,.
LOIS: You were there?
GEORGE: Yes, sure, surely was. Yeah, I'll remember that day. Well I'll never forget it because that was the day that I uh, lost my virginity to Miss. Stafford, the uh, voluptuous home room teacher.
DUNCAN: Miss Stafford?
GEORGE: Yes, yes, you know I was in detention and she came up behind me while I was erasing the blackboard . . .
JERRY: George!
GEORGE: But I digress. Let me see, now. You were standing at one end of the line and I was right next to you. And I remember we were even for like, the first five yards and then , BOOM,...You were gone.
JERRY: Did I get a head start?
GEORGE: Head start, oh no absolutely not.
JERRY: You satisfied? So you see?
DUNCAN: No, I'm still not convinced and I never will be.
LOIS:Why don't the two of you just race again?
DUNCAN: That's a good idea.
JERRY: No, no, no, another race - out of the question.
DUNCAN: I know, you've been saying that for twenty years because you know you can't beat me. You couldn't beat me then and you can't beat me now.
LOIS: Race him Jerry. Race him.
JERRY: All right! I'll do it. The race is on.