That's the only explanation I can think of
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Someone else's joke
The creators of Mad Libs trying to pick up a woman:
"I'd like to verb your noun."
-Arthur
"I'd like to verb your noun."
-Arthur
Friday, October 01, 2004
Lucid Dreaming
For a while now, I’ve been interested in lucid dreaming. Honestly, I haven’t done it too much; I try to do what I can whenever I get around to remembering. I’ve been at it since sometime in senior year. I made a movie about a lucid dream for my film class (which was mostly remarkable for the first film appearance of former NGW World Champion and master freestyle rapper Scottywood spitting some sick rhymes). I’m not great at lucid dreaming yet, but here’s what I’ve done and how I’ve done it.
One of the first things I heard about lucid dreaming is that you should perform “reality checks” throughout your day at times when you think you might be dreaming. A reality check involves looking at a digital watch or a line of text you carry everywhere for a couple of seconds, studying it, looking away for a couple seconds, and looking back. In a dream, the text will change and the watch won’t work (neither will any electronic equipment).
So one morning, I got out of bed and looked at my digital watch, looked away, and looked back. When I looked back, I saw that there were words on my watch. Excitedly, I looked away and looked back again and it said something different. I realized I was lucid dreaming (In my movie, the main character realized something was wrong when he was sitting in the woods holding a backwards clock; in real life, it’s just a cool backwards clock).
At this point, I was ecstatic. I ran out of my room down the stairs into the foyer, exactly as it is in real life. I stopped in the middle of the room and decided I would try to fly. I focused all my energy and started flapping my arms and jumping in the air, but I couldn’t do anything other than hover a couple inches off the ground for a second or two at a time a’la David Blaine (this is also in my movie).
After not really being able to much in the way of flying, I told myself that I could go wherever and do whatever I wanted in the entire world so why waste my time in my foyer trying to fly when I could barely get off the ground. I decided to go to my school and punch my old Spanish teacher Ms. Mubarek in the face. (Incidentally, Ms. Mubarek’s first name is Georgie and she bares a striking resemblance to our first President; unfortunately, she would not agree to be punched in the face for my movie, though I may punch her in the face and film it one of these days for the Director’s Cut). So anyway, with my new goal, I ran out the front door and down the path into my driveway.
However, when I reached the driveway, I realized that the Jeep I drove was not where I usually parked it. “Oh no!” I thought. “I’m lucid dreaming and I can go wherever I want, but I don’t have a car!” Honest to God, this is what I thought. Now how would I punch Ms. Mubarek in the face? (By the way, as she most hilariously pointed out at some school function, Ms. Mubarek is not related to Egyptian President Hosni; I got in a nice loud cough after that line.) So I walked back into the front yard kind of depressed wondering what I should do next (the main character in my movie also is disappointed to find no car in his garage though I forgot to film a line so it is tacked on with little or no explanation; and in case you were wondering, yes I am a hack who hasn’t come up with an original idea in his entire life).
So anyway, as I walked back into the front yard, I saw two people walking towards me out of the woods. One was a Storm Trooper from Star Wars and the other was Spiderman. “Oh great,” I thought, “I’m having my first lucid dream, I don’t have a car, and now I have to deal with this Storm Trooper and Spiderman.” Luckily, I quickly threw both of them to the ground and thought the issue was settled. However, when I looked up, I saw dozens of Storm Troopers and Spidermen swarming out of the woods. Frustrated, I made myself grow to about ten feet and starting punting the Spidermen and Storm Troopers around. But as I looked closer, I saw that they were just little kids wearing Storm Trooper and Spiderman Halloween costumes. And here I was, ten feet tall, punting around a bunch of little kids. So my psyche must have been so ashamed I woke myself up.
So anyway, that’s the sad story of my first lucid dream. Not long after that, I had another one, but wasted it flying around my mom trying to convince her I was having a lucid dream as she was folding laundry in her room. I was really flying, so that was pretty cool, but because I was so insistent on proving my point, I stayed indoors, which kind of took some of the fun out of it.
I had my third lucid dream after using another technique. If you wake up in the middle of the night after having a dream, go back to sleep telling yourself “I was just dreaming and I’m about to dream again” and you’ll be aware of the situation. A little later that night, I found myself in another dream. I had a ham sandwich on a wicker nightstand somewhere that vaguely resembled my house. Scottywood (“The Perfect One”) reached for my sandwich. At this point, I simultaneously realized I was dreaming and became very defensive about my sandwich. I beat Scottywood to a pulp. He grabbed the plate, I grabbed his head and just started punching him. He fell to one knee and I just kept wailing away at him, even when he fell on the ground. Just pounding on him for a couple seconds until I woke up.
Badoom.
One of the first things I heard about lucid dreaming is that you should perform “reality checks” throughout your day at times when you think you might be dreaming. A reality check involves looking at a digital watch or a line of text you carry everywhere for a couple of seconds, studying it, looking away for a couple seconds, and looking back. In a dream, the text will change and the watch won’t work (neither will any electronic equipment).
So one morning, I got out of bed and looked at my digital watch, looked away, and looked back. When I looked back, I saw that there were words on my watch. Excitedly, I looked away and looked back again and it said something different. I realized I was lucid dreaming (In my movie, the main character realized something was wrong when he was sitting in the woods holding a backwards clock; in real life, it’s just a cool backwards clock).
At this point, I was ecstatic. I ran out of my room down the stairs into the foyer, exactly as it is in real life. I stopped in the middle of the room and decided I would try to fly. I focused all my energy and started flapping my arms and jumping in the air, but I couldn’t do anything other than hover a couple inches off the ground for a second or two at a time a’la David Blaine (this is also in my movie).
After not really being able to much in the way of flying, I told myself that I could go wherever and do whatever I wanted in the entire world so why waste my time in my foyer trying to fly when I could barely get off the ground. I decided to go to my school and punch my old Spanish teacher Ms. Mubarek in the face. (Incidentally, Ms. Mubarek’s first name is Georgie and she bares a striking resemblance to our first President; unfortunately, she would not agree to be punched in the face for my movie, though I may punch her in the face and film it one of these days for the Director’s Cut). So anyway, with my new goal, I ran out the front door and down the path into my driveway.
However, when I reached the driveway, I realized that the Jeep I drove was not where I usually parked it. “Oh no!” I thought. “I’m lucid dreaming and I can go wherever I want, but I don’t have a car!” Honest to God, this is what I thought. Now how would I punch Ms. Mubarek in the face? (By the way, as she most hilariously pointed out at some school function, Ms. Mubarek is not related to Egyptian President Hosni; I got in a nice loud cough after that line.) So I walked back into the front yard kind of depressed wondering what I should do next (the main character in my movie also is disappointed to find no car in his garage though I forgot to film a line so it is tacked on with little or no explanation; and in case you were wondering, yes I am a hack who hasn’t come up with an original idea in his entire life).
So anyway, as I walked back into the front yard, I saw two people walking towards me out of the woods. One was a Storm Trooper from Star Wars and the other was Spiderman. “Oh great,” I thought, “I’m having my first lucid dream, I don’t have a car, and now I have to deal with this Storm Trooper and Spiderman.” Luckily, I quickly threw both of them to the ground and thought the issue was settled. However, when I looked up, I saw dozens of Storm Troopers and Spidermen swarming out of the woods. Frustrated, I made myself grow to about ten feet and starting punting the Spidermen and Storm Troopers around. But as I looked closer, I saw that they were just little kids wearing Storm Trooper and Spiderman Halloween costumes. And here I was, ten feet tall, punting around a bunch of little kids. So my psyche must have been so ashamed I woke myself up.
So anyway, that’s the sad story of my first lucid dream. Not long after that, I had another one, but wasted it flying around my mom trying to convince her I was having a lucid dream as she was folding laundry in her room. I was really flying, so that was pretty cool, but because I was so insistent on proving my point, I stayed indoors, which kind of took some of the fun out of it.
I had my third lucid dream after using another technique. If you wake up in the middle of the night after having a dream, go back to sleep telling yourself “I was just dreaming and I’m about to dream again” and you’ll be aware of the situation. A little later that night, I found myself in another dream. I had a ham sandwich on a wicker nightstand somewhere that vaguely resembled my house. Scottywood (“The Perfect One”) reached for my sandwich. At this point, I simultaneously realized I was dreaming and became very defensive about my sandwich. I beat Scottywood to a pulp. He grabbed the plate, I grabbed his head and just started punching him. He fell to one knee and I just kept wailing away at him, even when he fell on the ground. Just pounding on him for a couple seconds until I woke up.
Badoom.
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Who wants more Best of Balderdash? You better...
'Cause here it is.
“Dirty Work”
After being trapped in a cave during the Civil War, 5 men continue the fight even though the war is over.
Greg
“The Tall Target”
A professional basketball player is pursued by the FBI after he attacks a government official during a game.
Rioux
Robert Opal
Name of former Southwestern Wrestling League Champion Chef Cutsalot.
Me
William Figueron
First man to ingest a flute and play Yankee Doodle through his ass.
Rioux
Reggie Coates
Mountain climber who froze to death in the Andes Mountains because he had no coats.
Me
“Dirty Work”
After being trapped in a cave during the Civil War, 5 men continue the fight even though the war is over.
Greg
“The Tall Target”
A professional basketball player is pursued by the FBI after he attacks a government official during a game.
Rioux
Robert Opal
Name of former Southwestern Wrestling League Champion Chef Cutsalot.
Me
William Figueron
First man to ingest a flute and play Yankee Doodle through his ass.
Rioux
Reggie Coates
Mountain climber who froze to death in the Andes Mountains because he had no coats.
Me
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Comedy Classic: New bin Laden Tape Reveals Talent, Passion for Old Jazz Standards
DUBAI, United Arab Emirates--The release of a new Osama bin Laden tape obtained by Al Jazeera has caused a stir in both the military and jazz communities, as his normally fiery rhetoric was nowhere to be found, replaced instead by bin Laden’s deep, soulful voice singing such classic jazz tunes as “Pennies from Heaven” and “Puttin’ on the Ritz.”
The recordings, though suffering from poor production, showcase a real talent in the terrorist, as he sings a broad range of classic jazz pieces, backed only by subtle arrangements on piano, bass, and drums. “It’s obvious that he doesn’t have access to top notch recording equipment or musicians, but if he’s given an opportunity with a major jazz label, he can really make waves in the jazz community,” says singer Andy Williams, to whom bin Laden’s calm, gentle vocal style has been most commonly compared to. “The kid’s got talent, there’s no denying that.”
“Without a doubt, the tape has its rough spots,” concedes music critic Stephen Thomas Erlewine. “But I can honestly say that, rough spots and all, bin Laden gives one of the finest performances of ‘I Get a Kick Out of You’ that I’ve ever heard.”
It is unknown when the tape was made, although experts believe that the sparse production suggests the tape was made after the United States began its offensive on Al Qaeda after Sept. 11. The tape was delivered to Al Jazeera on Monday. After authenticating the tape, they played it Thursday, despite the concerns of US officials.
“Whenever Al Jazeera gets a tape like this, we try to dissuade them from playing the whole thing, in case it contains secret messengers to terrorist cells,” said Donald Rumsfeld at a press conference shortly after the tapes were released. “But, every time Osama launches into [Etta James’s] ‘At Last,’ my heart just melts.”
President of jazz label Blue Note Records Bruce Lundvall would not rule out the possibility of signing bin Laden to a record contract. “Look, he’s obviously a terrorist who is responsible for the deaths of thousands worldwide. But talent just exists independent of looks or age or murders committed.” Lundvall, who had unexpected success with Norah Jones last year, said “I would be very interested in getting him into a professional studio and cleaning up these recordings. I’m sure Blue Note wouldn’t be the only record company that would be interested in him either.” He suggested that “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off” or “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” were both possible singles.
Al Jazeera believes that the tape was never meant to be heard by the public. “It was probably just sitting on a shelf or in a box somewhere,” said Saib Allouni, the Al Jazeera reporter who broke the story. “Someone probably grabbed for a tape of bin Laden further advocating the destruction of the West and accidentally grabbed this.” He added that although possibly embarrassing for bin Laden, “the jazz world is much better off for having heard these spectacular recordings.”
Record producer and American Idol judge Randy Jackson concurred with the positive reviews for the cassette. “I don’t know if bin Laden has the look to become a superstar, but neither did Clay Aiken when he walked in to audition and look where it got him.” When asked what advice he would give bin Laden, he said, “look dude, you’ve got a killer voice. Just focus on the singing and you won’t need terrorism, dawg. Honestly, when I hear ‘I Got Rhythm’ or ‘Brother, Can You Spare a Dime’ or ‘My Funny Valentine,’ I totally forget about all that terrorism stuff.”
Al Qaeda’s second-in-command Ayman al-Zawahiri released his own tape shortly after, assuring Arabs around the world that “bin Laden’s musical ambitions will in no way slow our jihad against the West.” He then gave his own renditions of “The More I See You” and “ ‘S Wonderful,” both of which were unanimously panned by critics.
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Fox Sports: Dale Jr. says dad helped him out of fiery wreck
While Dale Jr. has been out promoting the Dale Jr. diet for KFC, his father has been a diet of his own (for worms, that is). But apparently, that didn't stop him from saving his son's life.
You know, if my dad ever comes back as a ghost to save my life, I hope he does so before I get in the flaming car wreck that gives me second degree burns. You know, just pop into the passenger's seat and tell me "Slow down!" or "Watch the road!" or something. Could save a lot of trouble.
I remember listening to 1080 the day after the crash and somebody called in to McEnroe and Bruce or whoever and said that this crash has led her to believe that, honest to God she said this, we need to ban competition. I swear to you.
NEW YORK - Dale Earnhardt Jr. has trouble remembering those frantic seconds when he escaped from his burning racecar. He believes, however, his late father figured in his survival.
"I don't want to put some weird, you know, psycho twist on it like he was pulling me out or anything, but he had a lot to do with me getting out of that car," the NASCAR star said. "From the movement I made to unbuckle my belt to lying on the stretcher, I have no idea what happened."
Earnhardt recalled that perilous July day in Sonoma, Calif., during an interview with correspondent Mike Wallace for 60 Minutes that will be broadcast Wednesday on CBS. Earnhardt's father was killed three years ago during the final lap of the Daytona 500 race. The son insists he felt his father's presence on the day when he scrambled out of his flaming car and was left with second-degree burns on his legs, neck and chin. In fact, he said, when he reached safety, he began inquiring about the "person" who helped him from the car.
Earnhardt told 60 Minutes he grabbed one of his representatives by the collar, "screaming at him to find the guy that pulled me out of the car. He was like, 'Nobody helped you get out,' and I was like, 'That's strange because I swear somebody ... had me underneath ... my arms and was carrying me out of the car."'
Wallace asks if that was his father.
"Yeah, I don't know," Earnhardt said. "You tell me. It ... freaks me out today just talking about it. It just gives me chills."
You know, if my dad ever comes back as a ghost to save my life, I hope he does so before I get in the flaming car wreck that gives me second degree burns. You know, just pop into the passenger's seat and tell me "Slow down!" or "Watch the road!" or something. Could save a lot of trouble.
I remember listening to 1080 the day after the crash and somebody called in to McEnroe and Bruce or whoever and said that this crash has led her to believe that, honest to God she said this, we need to ban competition. I swear to you.
"Antics" better be worth the trouble
I walked ten minutes out of my way to buy "Antics" by Interpol, which came out today. It was pouring rain and I didn't have an umbrella. Now that might not have been so bad, but on the way, my shorts got soaked and my MP3 player stopped working. None of the buttons do anything anymore. I'm praying to God that it'll dry off and start working. Meanwhile, this better be the freaking album of a lifetime. I'm certainly rethinking my virtuous attitude towards downloading leaked albums (or any albums for that matter).
UPDATE: Thank the Lord, the MP3 player works. Besides my laptop, I don't think there's another thing I'd be more upset about losing just because it's so irreplaceable (when I download something I put it on the MP3 player and delete it to save hard drive space). And "Antics" is spectacular, certainly worth getting a little wet now that the MP3 player is up and running again.
UPDATE: Thank the Lord, the MP3 player works. Besides my laptop, I don't think there's another thing I'd be more upset about losing just because it's so irreplaceable (when I download something I put it on the MP3 player and delete it to save hard drive space). And "Antics" is spectacular, certainly worth getting a little wet now that the MP3 player is up and running again.
Monday, September 27, 2004
I am impervious to buses
Hello. I don't know you, but you might know me. Did you see the kid who got hit by that bus on Comm Ave and didn't even get a scratch? Yeah. That was me.
I didn't ask for this gift. It just kind of fell into my lap. I won't get into the long-winded story of how or why. I'll just say that of all the genie-filled magic lamps in the world, it's just my luck that I get the genie with the sense of humor.
I wasn't showing off. I was late for class because I had forgotten my hat, ran back to my room, realized I didn't have a hat, ran back to class, realized I had forgotten my pants, and woke up. In all the worry about hats and pants, I overslept. So I got ready, ran across the street, and just didn't see it coming.
"Money," I asked for. "Fame and fortune." This stooge gives me invincibility in the face of buses.
I don't like being the center of attention. So when you all crowded around me after the accident, it wasn't my happiest moment. For future reference, no I don't need to go to the hospital; yes, I really got hit by that bus; no, I'm not faking it; yes, I'm OK; no, I'm not your savior. I'm just impervious to buses, OK?
I thought you were supposed to get three wishes! Since when do I get one wish that I don't even wish?
To answer your question, no I am not impervious to other vehicles. I can only thank God that wasn't a motorcycle or a minivan barreling down the street that day. I supposed I could survive being hit my something else. But my survival would be completely incidental.
I suppose I can understand the genie's boredom. Lock me in a lamp for a couple thousand years and I'm pretty upset too. So by all means, genie, have a little fun! But at least give me one real wish! At least a couple hundred bucks!
I know there are a lot of people angry at me. And believe me, I didn't ask for this to happen. I had no idea the bus was going to bounce right off me into Marsh Plaza. I was as shocked as you were when the bus mowed down that priest's convention. I was less surprised that it killed all those students, but that doesn't mean I was any less horrified. Believe me, if I could turn off this horrible curse of mine, I would have sacrificed myself for the sake of the other kids and the priests and the bus full of elderly people. But that's not how the world works, unfortunately.
"Be practical," he said. Look, genie. I don't want to hear your little lecture about inflation and unstable economies. I'd rather have a hundred billion dollars in Weimar Germany than this little bus joke of yours. Then maybe I could have killed Hitler and prevented the Holocaust instead of being the cause of the "Boston Bus Holocaust" yesterday. Stupid sensationalist Herald.
I was still surprised. I mean, a genie tells you you're impervious to buses, that's one thing. But to actually see a bus bounce off you and fly through the air? That's a totally different situation.
"Can't get rich if you get his by a bus," he said. Jackass.
I didn't ask for this gift. It just kind of fell into my lap. I won't get into the long-winded story of how or why. I'll just say that of all the genie-filled magic lamps in the world, it's just my luck that I get the genie with the sense of humor.
I wasn't showing off. I was late for class because I had forgotten my hat, ran back to my room, realized I didn't have a hat, ran back to class, realized I had forgotten my pants, and woke up. In all the worry about hats and pants, I overslept. So I got ready, ran across the street, and just didn't see it coming.
"Money," I asked for. "Fame and fortune." This stooge gives me invincibility in the face of buses.
I don't like being the center of attention. So when you all crowded around me after the accident, it wasn't my happiest moment. For future reference, no I don't need to go to the hospital; yes, I really got hit by that bus; no, I'm not faking it; yes, I'm OK; no, I'm not your savior. I'm just impervious to buses, OK?
I thought you were supposed to get three wishes! Since when do I get one wish that I don't even wish?
To answer your question, no I am not impervious to other vehicles. I can only thank God that wasn't a motorcycle or a minivan barreling down the street that day. I supposed I could survive being hit my something else. But my survival would be completely incidental.
I suppose I can understand the genie's boredom. Lock me in a lamp for a couple thousand years and I'm pretty upset too. So by all means, genie, have a little fun! But at least give me one real wish! At least a couple hundred bucks!
I know there are a lot of people angry at me. And believe me, I didn't ask for this to happen. I had no idea the bus was going to bounce right off me into Marsh Plaza. I was as shocked as you were when the bus mowed down that priest's convention. I was less surprised that it killed all those students, but that doesn't mean I was any less horrified. Believe me, if I could turn off this horrible curse of mine, I would have sacrificed myself for the sake of the other kids and the priests and the bus full of elderly people. But that's not how the world works, unfortunately.
"Be practical," he said. Look, genie. I don't want to hear your little lecture about inflation and unstable economies. I'd rather have a hundred billion dollars in Weimar Germany than this little bus joke of yours. Then maybe I could have killed Hitler and prevented the Holocaust instead of being the cause of the "Boston Bus Holocaust" yesterday. Stupid sensationalist Herald.
I was still surprised. I mean, a genie tells you you're impervious to buses, that's one thing. But to actually see a bus bounce off you and fly through the air? That's a totally different situation.
"Can't get rich if you get his by a bus," he said. Jackass.
GLOAT
I wrote an A+ paper for English (though it got knocked down to an A- for using an unnecessary adverb and/or euphemism). Ha! Woo! Ha haaaaa!
And this was analyzing poetry! Haaaa! Woo woo woo woo!
ahem...
And this was analyzing poetry! Haaaa! Woo woo woo woo!
ahem...
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Wow
I signed up for this StatCounter thing to monitor traffic to this site. It tells me how many unique visitors I get each day, pageloads, and first-timers. So anyway, as you may have noticed, that Blogger toolbar shows up above my site. The idea behind it is that people with a lot of time on their hands click the "Next Blog" button and it brings them to a random site which also has the toolbar up there. Well StatCounter give detailed stats on ISPs, unique visitors, and locations. I don't think anyone who has clicked the "Next Blog" button to my site has ever come back a second time. Occassionally, I'll get one from a strange place like Singapore (surprisingly popular) or Japan.
But today I got one that was even better.
Referring Link http://jokesara.blogspot.com/
Host Name 217.218.210.***
IP Address 217.218.210.***
Country Iran, Islamic Republic Of
Region -
City -
ISP Telecommunication Company Of Iran (tci)
Returning Visits 0
An Iranian! Wow! So let me take this moment to pass on a message to this particular Iranian and any other Iranians who may hear about this place.
OVERTHROW YOUR GOVERNMENT! We in the United States yearn for your freedom! We will support you! WE SUPPORT IRANIAN DEMOCRACY! OVERTHROW THE MULLAHS!
And to any Canadians who may stumble across this place: your country blows. I feel sorry for you.
But today I got one that was even better.
Referring Link http://jokesara.blogspot.com/
Host Name 217.218.210.***
IP Address 217.218.210.***
Country Iran, Islamic Republic Of
Region -
City -
ISP Telecommunication Company Of Iran (tci)
Returning Visits 0
An Iranian! Wow! So let me take this moment to pass on a message to this particular Iranian and any other Iranians who may hear about this place.
OVERTHROW YOUR GOVERNMENT! We in the United States yearn for your freedom! We will support you! WE SUPPORT IRANIAN DEMOCRACY! OVERTHROW THE MULLAHS!
And to any Canadians who may stumble across this place: your country blows. I feel sorry for you.
The BU Badminton team is after me
I went to play badminton last night with Charlie, Florian, and Jeff. I figured we'd have the gym to ourselves pretty much and we were just playing a pick-up game or something. But when we got there, we weren't alone. There were probably about ten or fifteen people there and they all had their own rackets. These people were hardcore. Then, some guy who looked like the coach came in and asked a couple people if they had "practiced this summer." So now I think I'm trying out for the badminton team or something. Florian assured us that we were just hitting it around. Practice was later and until then we could play. Some kid from the team brought out "community rackets." Charlie, Jeff and I were the only ones in the whole gym who needed them.
So we did. For a while. Probably about 20 minutes in, someone hit a shot to me. I jumped, took a wild swing at it (as I had been all night) and missed. I swung the all the way to the floor and then landed right on it. The gave way. It wasn't as bad as this, but you get the idea. I tried to bend it back and something snapped. A couple pieces of plastic fell to the ground. It was straighter, but that doesn't mean it was straight. Not by a long shot. And now there were bits of the thing lying on the ground and the thing was even flimsier than before. So Charlie (who had been looking for an opportunity to leave anyway I think) said "let's go," so he and I put our rackets back in the bag and got out of there. I wonder if they've noticed it yet.
Meanwhile, Florian's actually trying out for the team. He better know how to keep his mouth shut. That's all I'm gonna say.
So we did. For a while. Probably about 20 minutes in, someone hit a shot to me. I jumped, took a wild swing at it (as I had been all night) and missed. I swung the all the way to the floor and then landed right on it. The gave way. It wasn't as bad as this, but you get the idea. I tried to bend it back and something snapped. A couple pieces of plastic fell to the ground. It was straighter, but that doesn't mean it was straight. Not by a long shot. And now there were bits of the thing lying on the ground and the thing was even flimsier than before. So Charlie (who had been looking for an opportunity to leave anyway I think) said "let's go," so he and I put our rackets back in the bag and got out of there. I wonder if they've noticed it yet.
Meanwhile, Florian's actually trying out for the team. He better know how to keep his mouth shut. That's all I'm gonna say.
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