No I will not tell you why there's a bottle of vinegar sitting on my fridge

What's that? Oh, yes. That is a bottle of vinegar sitting on top of my fridge. I'm glad you noticed. Why? Oh, I'm not going to tell you why.

Why do you need to know? It's nothing important. It's just vinegar. It's not like there's a picture of you or a bomb on top of my fridge. It's just a bottle of vinegar.

Vinegar's fairly common, you know. They sell it everywhere. In fact, I'll tell you where I got it. I got it at City Convenience. That's how common vinegar is. You can pick up a bottle at your local convenience store.

It's killing you, isn't it? I can see it in your eyes. No matter what we're talking about, your eyes keep slipping away from my face back to that damn bottle of vinegar. You can't focus on the conversation. All you can do is nod and give subtle affirmative responses to whatever I'm saying, because your mind is racing. "Vinegar? Why vinegar? What would he need vinegar for? And why would he keep it out, like he would need it at any second?"

No, I won't move the vinegar. The vinegar is going to stay right where it is. Does that bother you? Well, I've got to tell you, it doesn't bother me in the least. I like it there. The vinegar stays. Leave if you have to, but--

Oh, OK. Uh, see you later.