Maurice's Day

Maxwell sat on his bed, staring at his lap. His mind was remarkably blank. His breathing was shallow. Every once in a while, it seemed he had to be reminded to breathe and he took a quick gasp of the stuffy air. He ran his hands up and down the sides of his uncomfortable wooden chair. Then he rubbed his hands on his sweatshirt, faster and faster, until he got them to top speed and he just stopped, yanking his hands off the fabric. He held his hands in the air for a couple seconds, letting them tingle, then slowly put them back in his lap. All this he did without thinking. When thoughts finally did return, he noticed how worn his jeans were on top and how strangely they contrasted with the sides, which were still bright blue. He tried to remember how old they were.

Fifty-two and fifty-three.

He moved to his desk, but found nothing for him there. He carefully balanced a quarter on its side. Then next to that, a penny. It took a little effort to balance the dime, but he got it eventually. He looked for a nickel somewhere but couldn’t find one. He rifled through his drawers, but carefully so as not to disturb the coins on top of the desk. There wasn’t a nickel in any of his drawers either. He got out of his chair to find a nickel somewhere in the room but sat back down again. He knocked the three coins over. They looked silly without a nickel.

Maurice burst threw the door and slammed it back in its frame. The old hinges rattled. Maurice panted in the doorway, fuming. He was almost twice Maxwell’s size and he looked even larger in his shrunken dress shirt and short tie. He had apparently left his jacket in the car.

“Aaaahhh!” Maurice yelled. He bent over and put his head in his hands, squeezing at his eyes in fury. Maxwell looked at him blankly. Maurice got up and almost punched the door. He jumped up and down and spun around to face Maxwell again.

“Aaaaahhhh,” he shouted again. “I’m so angry! Jesus, I’ve never been so angry.” He paced around in a short circle on the doormat, gradually looking more ridiculous as he continued to pick up speed. Finally, he stopped and lifted his arms to his shoulders, spinning his clenched fists in little circles with his eyes closed. Suddenly, he stretched his face out, opening his eyes as wide as he could and using every muscle in his head to push all the skin on his face back to his neck. Maxwell just stared up at him. Maurice let out a grunt and ran to his bed, where he picked his pillow up and buried his face in it, screaming. Maxwell twitched a bit, but otherwise sat perfectly still. Finally, Maurice put the pillow down, took a deep breath, and began to speak.

“So I go into work and there’s this new guy there who has the nerdiest tie on I have ever seen, I swear.” Maxwell continued staring at the space in front of the door where Maurice had been carrying on earlier. So I’m in the break room with about three other people and this new guy comes in and he just stares at us, right? Like he expects us to welcome him or something like that. So I say ‘Hey, goober, who do you think you are?’ And I grab him by the tie and I throw him onto the ground! So he goes running out crying like a little pussy and everyone’s laughing except for this one chick. So it turns out this chick goes and tells the boss that I’ve been ‘harassing my coworkers,’ which is not true except for that one guy who asked for it. And anyway, my boss calls me in and he says, ‘Listen, Mr. Sayer, if this happens again, you’re going to have to face some disciplinary action!’ Like, can you believe this dweeb? So anyways, I spit in his face and I walked out. And then he fines me $100! I mean come on!” By now, Maurice was standing on top of the bed, waving his hands in the air for emphasis. He had been shouting, but he hadn’t released all his frustration. He sputtered on top of the bed, spitting out syllables that didn’t make words. Finally, he sighed and his arms fell back to his sides. He inhaled and exhaled deeply for a few moments, never taking his eyes off Maxwell. When he had calmed down completely, he spoke again.

“And then I heard you parents died, that’s too bad.” Maxwell said nothing for eight seconds.

“Thank you.”

“Sure, man, if you need anything let me know.”

“OK.”

“OK.” Maurice got off the bed, took off his shoes, and walked into the bathroom.