Who are you windpants1?

You might remember back in April when I used my no-longer secret screen name to fool Scottywood in a conversation wherein I asked him if he would be willing to accept money to give me Scottywood2k. Then, a mere two days later, one of my many fans did something similar and Scottywood thought it was me.

Well it happened again and this time Scottywood alerted me as it was happening. What follows are transcripts copied by me and Scottywood talking to the mysterious windpants1.

windpants1: yo
Scottywood2k: hey
windpants1: whats up
Scottywood2k: nm.......whose this? lol
windpants1: johnny
Scottywood2k: from? lol
windpants1: bristol
windpants1: i want to know if i could have your screenname
Scottywood2k: and why would ya want my screen name?
windpants1: beacause my name is scott wood
windpants1: i go by johnny tho thats my middle name
Scottywood2k: so why do you need my exact name.
windpants1: thats the name i wanted
windpants1: you could have my sn if you wanted
Scottywood2k: or are you sure your not just after a conversation to post on your Myspace?
Scottywood2k: bah, sorry, Blog*
windpants1: yea ok thats it
Scottywood2k: first of I'd wanna see proof your name is Scott Wood before I even considered it. Cause I know people called Chris who would do this just for fun.
windpants1: what lol who would do this for fun
windpants1: who is this chris anyway
Scottywood2k: I'm sure you know
windpants1: it could have been my cousin chris wood
Scottywood2k: well show me some proof
windpants1: that sounds like something he'd do
windpants1: what do wanna see?
Scottywood2k: idk, what ya got that could prove it
windpants1: hmm
windpants1: you tell me
windpants1: what do you need to see
windpants1: would you take a bribe ?
Scottywood2k: how about a big no. Cause ain't gonna happen
windpants1: well why not
Scottywood2k: because I know this is a joke
windpants1: i was gonna offer you money
Scottywood2k: how much
windpants1: or how about a car
Scottywood2k: LOL
windpants1: im serious
Scottywood2k: what kind of car, lol
windpants1: a 98 cavalier
windpants1: its blue
Scottywood2k: lol, no thanks
windpants1: why its a pretty nice car
windpants1: you could take my sn too
windpants1: how could you pass up a deal like this
Scottywood2k: cause I know your bullshitting me. same shit ya pulled before Chris
Scottywood2k: woulda thought ya could be more creative
windpants1: i have no idea what you about
Scottywood2k: I'm not hard to fool, lol
windpants1: im not rying to fool anyone
windpants1: crative how
Scottywood2k: show me some proof, how about a scan of your drivers lincence?
windpants1: i actaully dont have one thats why i offered you the car
Scottywood2k: how about a scane of another photo ID?
windpants1: i could mail you a photocopy
Scottywood2k: ever been to Lake Compounce?
windpants1: whats that
Scottywood2k: you live in Bristol, CT, right?
windpants1: or where is the lake
windpants1: no bristol colorado
Scottywood2k: bah
windpants1: what ?
Scottywood2k: well what kind of proof can you show me right now?
windpants1: well nothing really i have no way of showwing it to you now
windpants1: i get the feeling you arent going to trade sns with me
Scottywood2k: why would I? a good probally thousand people know me on this sn
windpants1: lol a thousaund people ?
windpants1: can i see your buddy list
Scottywood2k: I maxed out my buddy list years ago
windpants1: i didn't kow that was possible
Scottywood2k: might not be anymore....use to be atleast
windpants1: how many people can you have ?
Scottywood2k: 280
Scottywood2k: thats how many I have
windpants1: id like to see that
Scottywood2k: how you gonna see it?
windpants1: put in on here
Scottywood2k: how?
windpants1: what are you stupid
Scottywood2k: yes
windpants1: i knew it
Scottywood2k: not my fault my IQ is less then most 2nd graders
windpants1: damn whats your IQ
Scottywood2k: 35
windpants1: isn't that about average for a mildly retarded person
Scottywood2k: idk, probally
windpants1: yeah sounds about right

At this point, Scottywood left me a message, thinking that I was behind the screen name.

Scottywood2k (2:56:07 PM): You or your freinds are at it again with the "I want your screen name" not very creative. Should atleast have some fake proof ready to make me believe.

Auto response from ShrimpSar (2:56:07 PM): TRUMAN
You’re right, Kurt Cobain. I should drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

ShrimpSar (2:57:29 PM): hahaha i have nothing to do with this one either
ShrimpSar (2:57:33 PM): what's the screen name?
Scottywood2k (2:59:06 PM): windpants1
ShrimpSar (2:59:26 PM): ah hahaha what an awesome name
Scottywood2k (2:59:30 PM): lol
Scottywood2k (3:00:03 PM): says he's from Bristol, CO and his name is Scott Wood
ShrimpSar (3:00:13 PM): haha that is so awesome
ShrimpSar (3:00:18 PM): save the conversation when you're don
Scottywood2k (3:00:22 PM): ok
Scottywood2k (3:00:26 PM): do you know who it is?
ShrimpSar (3:00:30 PM): no
ShrimpSar (3:00:36 PM): i'm gonna talk to them and see if they'll tell me
Scottywood2k (3:00:43 PM): k
ShrimpSar (3:00:57 PM): wait i have a better idea

And did I ever.

ShrimpSar (3:00:43 PM): hello
windpants1 (3:00:55 PM): uh hi
ShrimpSar (3:01:12 PM): this might sound kind of strange to you, but can i have your screen name?
ShrimpSar (3:01:15 PM): we could trade or something
windpants1 (3:01:33 PM): yeah sure
windpants1 (3:01:48 PM): im trying to get another 1 anyways
ShrimpSar (3:01:57 PM): oh great
windpants1 (3:02:02 PM): this guys being a pest though
ShrimpSar (3:02:23 PM): what's his screen name, maybe i could help since i want your name and all
windpants1 (3:02:39 PM): scottywood2k
ShrimpSar (3:02:49 PM): ok thanks
windpants1 (3:02:56 PM): yeah sure np
windpants1 (3:04:33 PM): hey who is this anyways
ShrimpSar (3:05:03 PM): well i don't think i know you
ShrimpSar (3:05:13 PM): i just wanted your name because my nickname is "windpants"
windpants1 (3:05:30 PM): your kidding
ShrimpSar (3:05:53 PM): no
ShrimpSar (3:05:56 PM): i wear windpants a lot
windpants1 (3:06:05 PM): oh really
ShrimpSar (3:06:08 PM): yeah
windpants1 (3:06:15 PM): thats kinda funny
ShrimpSar (3:06:43 PM): yeah they're comfortable

Meanwhile, windpants1 and Scottywood continued to negotiate.

Scottywood2k: so how much money to willing to offer me?
windpants1: well i was gonna give you the car but i guess i could sell it and give you the money
Scottywood2k: how mucha cavailer go for?
windpants1: i dunno 2500 bucks
Scottywood2k: and I also get your screen name?
windpants1: yeah
windpants1: thats a good deal right

Scottywood then brought our little game to the next level with an idea of his own.

Scottywood2k (3:04:38 PM): I gotta get on my other name and mess with him
ShrimpSar (3:04:48 PM): haha i'm gonna do that too
Scottywood2k (3:07:30 PM): just said I could have his name
ShrimpSar (3:07:52 PM): wait, tell him if he can convince "spiralkannberg" to give you his

I reported our new agreement to windpants1 (sort of).

ShrimpSar (3:07:31 PM): ok here's the deal
windpants1 (3:07:36 PM): ok
ShrimpSar (3:08:20 PM): he told me he'll give it to you if you can convince some guy named spiralkannberg to give him his
windpants1 (3:08:39 PM): whos that
ShrimpSar (3:08:39 PM): is that what he told you? he might be playing a joke on me or something
ShrimpSar (3:08:47 PM): i don't know, i guess he wants that name
windpants1 (3:08:48 PM): a joke
ShrimpSar (3:08:56 PM): could be, it sounds strange
windpants1 (3:09:12 PM): do you know this guy ?
ShrimpSar (3:09:41 PM): haha no i don't know any of these people
windpants1 (3:09:55 PM): wow this is really wierd
ShrimpSar (3:10:23 PM): yeah i know
ShrimpSar (3:11:21 PM): hey, do you know some guy ice 99? he just asked me for my name
ShrimpSar (3:11:23 PM): he says he knows scottywood
windpants1 (3:11:32 PM): oh really
ShrimpSar (3:11:51 PM): yeah
windpants1 (3:12:00 PM): wow small world
ShrimpSar (3:12:06 PM): haha

Poor windpants1 now became even more confused.

Scottywood2k: you should try and convince spiralkannberg to give you his.
windpants1: what why
windpants1: i want urs

At this point in the conversation, I was becoming a bit confused. I was even talking to myself with my two different screen names so I'd have things to copy and paste into other conversations. Still, the trick went on.

windpants1 (3:13:26 PM): i figured he was making it up
windpants1 (3:13:36 PM): he tried to tell me i did
ShrimpSar (3:13:51 PM): who, ice 99?
windpants1 (3:14:06 PM): no scottywood2k
windpants1 (3:14:11 PM): whos this ice99
ShrimpSar (3:14:23 PM): i don't know, some guy who asked for my screen name
ShrimpSar (3:14:27 PM): i thought you might be talking to him too
ShrimpSar (3:14:31 PM): spiralkannberg (3:14:11 PM): hey my name is boxley, do i know you?
ShrimpSar (3:14:36 PM): have you talked to this guy?
windpants1 (3:14:44 PM): no
windpants1 (3:15:08 PM): boxley?
ShrimpSar (3:15:15 PM): yeah, do you know anyone named boxley?
ShrimpSar (3:15:30 PM): there was a kid at my high school who was named boxley but he got hit by a train so i don't think it's him
windpants1 (3:16:54 PM): it sounds farmiliar

Scottywood's second name then made its first appearance.

Ice 99: hey
windpants1: uh hi
Ice 99: you know you have the funniest screen name ever and this may be werid, but can I have it?
windpants1: why do you find my screename funny ?
Ice 99: windpants......its just hilarious, sounds like someone just farted in there pants
windpants1: .
windpants1: who
Ice 99: huh?
windpants1: no windpants are those like swishy pants
Ice 99: no, reminds me of someone farting in there pants, creating wind, lol
windpants1: oh haha thats funny
windpants1: you do that often
Ice 99: so can I have the screen name?
Ice 99: ya, I do have a small flacuance problem
windpants1: a what ?
windpants1: well whats it worth to you
Ice 99: 99 cents?
windpants1: yeah sure what the hell
Ice 99: >:o
Ice 99: cool, whats the password?
windpants1: sickn25

Scottywood told me about this conversation and I figured this was the perfect opportunity for spiralkannberg to join the fray.

spiralkannberg: hey i'll buy your screen name for 50 cents
windpants1: well i just got an offer for 99 so ur gonna have to beat that
spiralkannberg: from who?
windpants1: this guy ice99
spiralkannberg: that's my fucking brother, man
spiralkannberg: don't sell it to him, he'll waste it
windpants1: lol what
windpants1: lol how do you waste a screename
spiralkannberg: he won't use it like i will
spiralkannberg: he probably won't use it at all, he'll just use it to bother me
windpants1: how would you use it
spiralkannberg: to speak to people mostly
windpants1: oh really
windpants1: its wierd like 3 people just asked if they could have it too
spiralkannberg: it's a pretty good name
windpants1: think so ?
spiralkannberg: yeah
spiralkannberg: i mean i want it of course, but i'd keep it if i were you
windpants1: one of those guys siad it was pretty stupid though
spiralkannberg: well he obviously doesn't know what he's talking about
windpants1: yeah i guess

windpants1 then relayed the news of his sale to ShrimpSar.

windpants1 (3:17:28 PM): hey i just sold this screenname for 99 cents
ShrimpSar (3:17:33 PM): what?
ShrimpSar (3:17:37 PM): i thought we had a deal
windpants1 (3:17:39 PM): yes
windpants1 (3:20:18 PM): im gonna give this kid a fake password
ShrimpSar (3:20:50 PM): oh ok haha cool
windpants1 (3:21:01 PM): yeah lol right

At about the same time...

Scottywood2k (3:19:57 PM): I think I got the password for it too
ShrimpSar (3:19:59 PM): by the way, ice 99 is spiralkannberg's brother
ShrimpSar (3:20:03 PM): haha no way
Scottywood2k (3:20:14 PM): ya
ShrimpSar (3:20:54 PM): windpants1 (3:20:18 PM): im gonna give this kid a fake password
Scottywood2k (3:24:01 PM): bastard

Ice 99 then harrassed windpants1 a little bit more.

Ice 99: hey, the password doesn't work!
windpants1: well i am still on it maybe 2 people cant be on at once
Ice 99: no, they can, I have done it
windpants1: maybe thats the wrong password then
windpants1: i have it set up so i dont have to put the password inm
Ice 99: or your trying to rip me off and gave me a fake password
windpants1: well i have a few different ones
windpants1: why would i try to rip u off for 99 cents though
Ice 99: idk?
windpants1: so i could get like one 4th of a gallon of gas or soemthing

The descent into madness continued.

spiralkannberg: do you know some guy named scottywood2k?
spiralkannberg: Scottywood2k (3:22:56 PM): eat me, windpants
windpants1: well i dont know him but im trying to get his screenname
spiralkannberg: i don't get it
spiralkannberg: oh why
windpants1: lol what
windpants1: because thats my name
windpants1: im scott wood
spiralkannberg: what's your middle name
windpants1: johnny
spiralkannberg: oh i figured it was yanni or young or something
spiralkannberg: scott y wood and all
spiralkannberg: yadier maybe
windpants1: oh lol no

And then finally, it was over.

Scottywood2k: why are you willing to pay over 2 grand for a simple screen name? Why not get Scottywood3k or Scottywood or Scottywood2000
windpants1: well niether of those are available and your the only one who responded to my im
Scottywood2k: how could Scottywood2000 be taken?
windpants1: i dunno but it is i tried it already
Scottywood2k: how do you test to see if names are avaiable?
windpants1: i didn't test i tried to get it
Scottywood2k: what about Scottywood3000?
windpants1: nah i tried that too
Scottywood2k: there is no way all those are taken
Scottywood2k: or Scottywood1
windpants1: i sware to god
Scottywood2k: ok gonna try now
windpants1: alright
Scottywood2k: Scottywood4 is avaiable
windpants1: how do you know
Scottywood2k: AIM has a thing that suggests names that are avaiable
Scottywood2k: so is Scottywood2
windpants1: wow no kidding people must have canceled there names
Scottywood2k: or you just never tried em
windpants1: maybe thats it
Scottywood2k: Scottywood3000 is open
windpants1: aww sweet ill just get one of those
windpants1 signed off at 3:29 P.M.

So I'm 90-95% sure that windpants1 is someone I know or someone who reads this blog anyway (and let's face it, that means someone I know and one of only a few people I know at that). winpants1, if you're out there, reveal yourself! The world needs to know.