When Scottywood started the XWF way back in the day, I quickly realized that this was an all-too-perfect opportunity to mess with Scottywood, and one thing I never do is miss an opportunity to mess with Scottywood. After sending in several fake applications, I decided to get a bit more ambitious.
I applied to the XWF as the Pokemon. The Pokemon consisted of the kid (I think his name was Ash), Pikachu, and two other Pokemon. I made my grand debut on the XWF message board challenging all comers--but in a nice way. True to the spirit of Pokemon, I challenged anyone to a respectful, turn-based match.
Pikachu's presence immediately drew reactions from the angry illiterate hicks that populate such web sites. He was quickly the most hated character in the fed. I had trouble keeping a straight face the next morning when Scottywood told me about how some joker had joined his fed as Pikachu and how badly he had it in for the Pokemon.
It turns out that just about everyone in the XWF wanted a piece of Pikachu. Poor little Pikachu had somehow hurt their pride so badly that each and every one of them felt the need to pound him to regain the honor they had built up in all their time as e-wrestlers. As a consequence, the match was set: Pokemon against just about everyone. The match had dire consequences: the losers had to leave NGW forever. Pokemon had to be in tip top shape.
They were. Unfortunately, in a cruel twist, the match was not a turn-based fight. Graciously allowing their opponents the first turn, the Pokemon were caught off guard and pounded without executing a single offensive maneuver. The Pokemon lost and were forced to leave the XWF forever.
Let's pause for a moment to fully appreciate the wonderful humor of this situation. Scottywood (or someone) wrote results for the match, as they do for any match. The writer had to describe big burly men beating up on little cartoon fuzzballs. I don't know how he did it. I didn't read the match; I just skimmed to the end to see who won. Picture
this fighting
this.
So anyway, the next night, Pokemon came out to the ring defeated and demoralized. They bid goodbye to their cheering fans when suddenly...the Pokemon evolved! They became higher forms of themselves and consequently, they would be allowed to stay in the XWF! The fans rejoiced! Unfortunately for Ash, humans can't evolve. As he sadly how the Pokemon would do without him, that girl from Pokemon came to the ring and triumphantly announced that she would be Pokemon's manager. All was well! Hooray for Pokemon!
This understandably provoked more fury from the XWF. However, faced with another mindnumbing week of roleplays and dealing with illiterate undersized middle schoolers with no sense of humor, I told Scottywood I was Pokemon the next day and retired proudly into XWF lore forever. In what stands today as one of my life's greatest achievements, I won the
NGW Worst Jobber award, which I have proudly kept to this day.
Here's an
artifact of Pokemon's XWF days, announcing Pokemon's later return for some royal rumble thing. Scottywood had offered a $250,000 (XWF dollars that is) reward to anyone who eliminated Pikachu from the rumble. At this point, Scottywood knew it was me. Note my embarrassing misspelling of definitely.
