Password

CHRISTIAN
Tonight, we have a very special segment. We’ve picked out two couples who were here in our studio audience and we’re going to have a competition to win some great BUTV prizes. We’re going to play Password, the idea is there’s a secret password only one roommate can see and the pair that can solve the password in the fewest one-word clues wins. So let’s bring out the couples. First, from Myles Standish, it’s Dan and Kate.

DAN and KATE enter, holding hands. They smile and shake hands with CHRISTIAN enthusiastically as they take their seats.

CHRISTIAN
All right, and our second couple comes to us from Sleeper Hall down on West Campus, please welcome Tim and Liz. Come on out, you guys.

CUT TO

The place from which TIM and LIZ are supposed to enter. Nothing happens. We hear strained whispering.

CHRISTIAN
(off-screen)
Uh, Tim? Liz? You can come out now?

TIM
(off-screen, whispering)
Will you just forget about that?

LIZ
(off-screen, whispering)
How can I forget about it? Do you have any idea how much that hurts me?

TIM
All right! I get the picture! I’m sorry, I told you that, it just came out—

CHRISTIAN
Uh, Tim! Liz! The—the game is starting.

TIM and LIZ are suddenly quiet. They peek out nervously and make their way to their seats. They shoot each other glares. LIZ starts to mouth something but TIM cuts her off, hissing “not now!”

CHRISTIAN
OK, great to see you guys.

DAN AND KATE
Great to be here!

TIM
(curt)
Yeah.

CHRISTIAN
All right, well the first word is for Dan and Kate, so Dan, pick up the card in front of you.

DAN
OK.

VOICE
The password is, “cherry.”

DAN
OK, um—fruit.

KATE
Apple.

DAN
No. Uh—stem.

KATE
Cherry?

DAN
That’s it!

CHRISTIAN
Good job, guys! You got it in two. OK, Tim and Liz, you two are up. Tim take the card.

TIM
Huh?

LIZ
The card, Tim. Let’s get this over with.

TIM
Well that’s some attitude.

LIZ
Just take the card!

TIM
I’m taking it!

VOICE
The password is, “boyfriend.”

TIM
(under his breath)
Christ.

LIZ
Was that a clue, Tim?

TIM
No. Just shut up, OK?

CHRISTIAN
Uh, guys? One word only please.

TIM
All right, just keep it down, Curly. Here’s my clue. Me.

LIZ
Cruel.

TIM
(annoyed)
Me.

LIZ
Inconsiderate.

TIM
(exasperated)
Me.

LIZ
Why don’t you try giving me another clue, Tim?

TIM
This is a good clue, Liz! It’s pretty easy! Me!

LIZ
Slow! Stupid! Idiot! Only got into BU because of a high-placed friend in the admissions department.

TIM
Hey, that’s below the belt, Liz!

CHRISTIAN
(interjecting quickly)
Sorry. Sorry, you guys didn’t get it. Uh, this time you go first. Liz, please pick up your card.

LIZ
(without picking up the card in front of her)
Oh yeah, here’s a clue for you Tim. Rachel.

TIM
Liz, we’ve been over this! Rachel’s just a friend of mine!

LIZ
Oh yeah, I know all about your special friendship. Give up? (imitating VOICE) The password is, “slut.”

TIM
You’re so insecure, what did your parents do to you? Why don’t you go throw up in the bathroom and then cry about it while I’m trying to study for a midterm again.

VOICE
The password is, “pillow.”

LIZ
Oh, real mature, Tim. I might need something to get me started though, could you lend me the socks you stuff down your shorts when you go to the gym.

TIM
All right, I’m out of here.

LIZ
Don’t call me.

TIM and LIZ exit in separate directions. CHRISTIAN, DAN and KATE sit awkwardly for a few seconds.

CHRISTIAN
All right, let’s hear it for our winners Dan and Kate!

DAN and KATE smile nervously.

CHRISTIAN
Let’s never do that again. We’ll be right back.