Sales contest

1
You know, I'm going to win the sales contest.

2
Yeah. Yup, you probably are.

1
I'm going to win that prize. -- You know. That great prize?

2
Yes. Yes you are, no arguments here.

1
Do you know why I'm going to win the sales contest?

2
Because I don't care enough to try?

1
My face. I have a face that makes people say, "I want that guy to make my sandwich."

2
Hey, that's great.

1
What are you going to do when you see me win that prize? -- Will you just go crazy?

2
No I won't.

1
-- What do you think the prize is going to be?

2
Something worth less than fifteen dollars.

1
Yeah, well. -- What if it isn't? -- We'll see what you do when you see me get that prize.

2
All right. You know what I'm going to do when I see you get that prize?

1
Just go crazy?

2
No. I'm going to leave here after work and I'm going to buy whatever the prize is and bring it in to work tomorrow, so we'll both have one. And I just had to buy it, instead of making a hundred sandwiches.

1
What if it's something expensive.

2
Doesn't matter, because it won't be. But I don't care. I'm still going to buy it.

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1
What if it's a car?

2
Then I will take out a loan.

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1
What if it's a house.

2
Then--

1
With a pool!

2
I will buy the house next door. And I will put a big fence in between our houses so I never have to see you. And I will dump all my garbage on your side of the fence.

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1
What if it's a whale. -- You know, like those charities that let you sponsor a whale? And then every month, they send you a picture, and a letter telling you where in the ocean your whale is. -- -- -- I hope they put my whale in SeaWorld so I can visit it.