I prank call Jesse at work

*1 800 218 5306*

Thank you for calling the Uno Chicago Grill Corporate Headquarters. For our Chicago office, press 1. For our New York office, press 2. For our Boston office, press 3. For

*3*

You have reached the Uno Chicago Grill office in Boston!, servicing our restaurants in Kenmore Square, Allston, Cambridge, Dedham and Revere. To make reservations at one of our local restaurants, press 1. For directions, press 2. To speak to someone in our corporate offices, press 3. To--

*3*

For directions to the Uno Chicago Grill nearest to you, enter your zipcode.

What?

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*0*

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*0*

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That is not a valid zipcode. To find the Uno Chicago Grill nearest to you, enter your zipcode now. To go back, press the pound key.

*#*

You have reached the Uno Chicago Grill office in Boston!, servicing our restaurants in Kenmore Square, Allston, Cambridge, Dedham and Revere.

Come on...

To make reservations at one of our local restaurants, press 1. For directions, press 2. To speak to someone in our corporate offices, press 3.

*3*

For directions to the Uno Chicago Grill nearest to you, enter your zipcode.

*# # # # #*

That is not a valid zipcode.

I know that, stupid--

To find the Uno Chicago Grill nearest to you, enter your zipcode now. To go back, press the pound key.

*#*

You have reached the Uno Chicago Grill office in Boston!,

Come on, already

servicing our restaurants in Kenmore Square, Allston, Cambridge, Dedham and Revere. To make reservations at one of our local restaurants, press 1. For directions, press 2. To speak to someone in our corporate offices, press 3. To get information on fundraisers press 4. To send a fax, please hang up and dial our fax number. For an operator's assitance, remain on the line.

All right, let's see if I can't figure this out--

*2*

For directions

Damnit! No!

to the Uno Chicago Grill nearest to you, enter your zipcode.

*595215029567219*

One moment please.

One moment what? I want the main menu!

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Hello?

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HELLO?

I'm sorry. There are no Uno Chicago Grills in or near
BOX ELDER, MISSOURI.
To choose a new location, press 1.

I don't want a new location, you stupid phone.

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HEY!

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I'm sorry. There--

*0*

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Hmm.

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You have reached the Uno Chicago Grill office in Boston!

Ah ha!

servicing our restaurants in Kenmore Square, Allston, Cambridge, Dedham and Revere. To make reservations at one of our local restaurants, press 1. For directions, press 2. To speak to someone in our corporate offices, press 3. To get information on fundraisers press 4. To send a fax, please hang up and dial our fax number. For an operator's assitance, remain on the line.

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I'm remaining on the line, you heartless machine.

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I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!

"Hello?"

Oh, uh, hi. Operator?

"Yes."

Uno? Boston offices?

"Y--yes."

Great. I need to talk to Jesse Sierant.

"Who?"

Uh, Jesse Sierant. He works in--marketing, I think. He's new.

"Um, OK. Let me transfer you to the marketing phone tree."

Could you just put me through to his line?

"I'm sorry, I don't have his extension."

OK, but--

"Could you hold?"

Oh, uh, sure.

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(hums)

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Buhm, bah da buhm ba dum.

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WHOOOAAAA, OOHH OOOHH OOH. FOR THE LONGEST TIME. WHOOAAA OOHH OOOHH. FOR THE LONGEST.

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"Sir?"

Oh, uh yes?

"I can put you right through."

Oh, great. Thank you.

(ring. ring.)

"Yeah."

(Disguised voice:) Yes, hello. I'm calling to enquire about your new Pizza for Ugly Men?

"What?"

(Undisguised voice:) Um--who--who is this?

"This is Gerald Brylle. VP of Marketing."

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Well that's not who I want to speak to.

"I see."

Do you know Jesse Sierant?

"Yes. He works for me."

Oh. Great.

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Could I speak to him?

"I'll transfer you."

Thank you, sir.

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You have reached the Uno Chicago Grill office in Boston!

NO!

servicing our restaurants in Kenmore Square, Allston, Cambridge,

I hate you, Uno.

Dedham and Revere. To make reservations at one of our local restaurants, press 1. For directions, press 2.

No. I hate you.

To speak to someone in our corporate offices, press 3.

I will never eat at your restaurant again.

To get information on fundraisers press 4.

I will die before I eat at your restaurant.

To send a fax, please hang up and dial our fax number. For an operator's assitance, remain on the line.

*4*

If you know the name of the person you are trying to reach--

Yeah! That's right! Eat me!

enter the first three letters of his or her last name now.

*743*

Sharon Ridgeway.
If this is correct, press 1. If not, press 2.

*2*

David Siffleman.
If this is correct, press 1. If not, press 2.

*2*

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*2*

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*2222*

I'm sorry.

I hate you.

To try again, press 1. To speak to an operator, press 0.

*2*

For directions

No!

to the Uno Chicago Grill nearest to you,

That's not even possible!

enter your zipcode.

NO. I HATE YOU. MAKE ME. I WANT YOU TO MAKE ME ENTER MY ZIPCODE. DO IT.

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(ring. ring.)

"Hello?"

(Disguised voice:) Oh, uh--whom am I speaking to?

"Gerald Brylle. Who the hell is this?"

Um--

"You want Jesse?"

Yes, but you didn't transfer him to me last time.

"I did. You probably pressed the wrong key."

No, I didn't press any keys.

"JESSE!"

Oh no, don't call him in.

"What?"

Could you just--if you could just transfer me to his line.

"(Jesse:) Yes, sir?
Someone on the phone for you."

Oh no. Please.

"What?"

Just--transfer me to his phone.

"Jesse, what's your extension?
(Jesse:) You haven't given me a phone yet.
That's what I thought. Here. Take the phone."

Oh God.

"Hello?"

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(Disguised voice:) Jesse?

"Yes. How may I help you?"

(Quiet, disguised voice:) I'd like to know about your--uh--Ugly Pizza?

"Chris?"

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Yeah, I'll see you later.

"OK."

Bye.

"Bye."