Carnac the Jaded

CARNAC: The novel as an artform, God, our nation's idealism in the face of disaster abroad.
ED McMAHON: The novel as an artform, God, our nation's idealism in the face of disaster abroad?
[Carnac rips the envelope open and removes the card.]
CARNAC: Name three things that are dead forever.
ED McMAHON: Yes. Absolutely. That is absolutely right, Carnac.

CARNAC: Sizzle hiss, "I have failed you Satan."
ED McMAHON: Sizzle hiss, "I have failed you Satan?"
[Carnac rips the envelope open and removes the card.]
CARNAC: The sound a Congressman makes when he is splashed with water.
ED McMAHON: Ha ha. That is so true. Subhuman filth, all of them. It makes me sick.

CARNAC: The cries of an Iraqi child trapped underneath a pile of rubble, the sane voice of Richard Clarke in the Bush administration before 9/11, prayers to God.
ED McMAHON: The cries of an Iraqi child trapped underneath a pile of rubble, the sane voice of Richard Clarke in the Bush administration before 9/11, prayers to God?
[Carnac rips the envelope open and removes the card.]
CARNAC: Name three things that go unheard.
ED McMAHON: Right on, Carnac. Right on. We are alone in the universe, absolutely.

CARNAC: ...Nothing. I've got--I'm getting nothing.
ED McMAHON: What do you mean?
CARNAC: I mean, I'm not getting a psychic reading. I've got nothing.
ED McMAHON: Nothing?
[Carnac rips the envelope open and removes the card.]
CARNAC: What is the meaning of life.
ED McMAHON: Of course. Of course, Carnac, that is absolutely true. Absolutely true.