Find yourself another hitman

Here.
Her?
Yeah.
OK, I can do this.
Great.
May I ask why?
What?
I’m just curious.
I don’t know. I’m not really comfortable saying.
She your wife? Lover?
Look, just do the job, all right?
It just helps if I know the backstory, is all.
I’m not giving you the backstory. The more I think about this the more it makes me sick to my stomach anyway.
She’s way out of your league, sexually.
Come on, I resent that.
I’m sorry. I’m just lashing out at your manhood in the most primitive way I know how because you won’t trust me.
Oh.
Yeah.
Well, that’s not going to change anything. I’m not going to tell you why, all right? So, just do it and get it done.
What if I don’t want to do it?
What are you talking about? This is what you do, is it not?
Well, yeah, usually, but I like it when I have a good reason to do it. Say, she stole your job or kidnapped your kids or something.
I’m giving you the money, why should any of that matter?
So I can do something unequivocally evil and minimize the guilt by deluding myself into believing it was a morally justifiable act.
Oh.
So?
I don’t know. Does it have to be believable?
I’ll take you at your word. I’m desperate to believe you, after all. Anything to make me feel less like the despicable worm that I am.
OK, then she—threw my daughter off a cliff.
I don’t believe you.
What?
You were clearly just making that up to satisfy me. But I can only be satisfied if I can convince myself of the truthfulness of what you are saying.
What? So why don’t you just believe in my truthfulness then?
You don’t know very much about human psychology, do you?
Just--what do I have to do to just get you do to the goddamn job?
Tell me the truth, is all.
But because I’ve already expressed my reluctance to tell you the truth, and then tried to lie, even if I told you the truth now, would you even believe me?
No. Such is the intractable mess your dishonesty has gotten us into.
So what can I do?
Find yourself another hitman.
And treat him with the respect he deserves as another human being by being forthright and honest, while acknowledging the moral morass into which he is throwing himself for my benefit, at my behest?
Up to you.
OK.
Anything else?
No, I guess not. Thanks.
Don’t mention it.