The pitch meeting that resulted in Mazda's slogan

"This is all crap. Throw out the pitches you came with, none of you were listening before. Simplicity. We're looking for simplicity. Something that gets to the very core of what driving a Mazda feels like! Yes, question."

"Can it get to the core of what driving another car feels like?"

"What kind of dumbass question is that?"

"It's just that I've never driven a Mazda before."

"Get the hell out of here. And clean out your office."

"What?"

"It's getting messy and it's right next to mine and I see it every day. At least get those trash bags out of there."

"Yes, sir."

"All right, anyone else? Come on, think simplicity."

"How about, 'I am driving a car?'"

"That's crummy, but it's on the right track. It's not just simplicity like, a descriptive sentence. I'm talking about tapping into the lizard brain and making you feel driving, even when you're just sitting on your couch. And it has to be easily adapted into an annoying song."

"Maybe just 'drive a car'" then?

"Get the fuck out of here. You'd better be gone by the end of the day."

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Your wife is in labor, isn't she? You should be at the hospital at her bedside, you only get one chance to witness the birth of your firstborn. Leave now. OK, anyone else?"

"'Driving?'"

"What was that?"

"'Driving.' You know, like for the slogan. 'Mazda. Driving.' Or you could flip it, 'Driving. Mazda.' You could have someone whisper it in the commercials, like they're letting the consumer in on this great secret: that driving takes place in Mazda."

"As much as I like the contempt you hold for the average consumer, your slogan is absolutely garbage. Have security escort you out of the building."

"Ha ha."

"What the fuck are you laughing about? Get the fuck out of here, you're fired."

"Oh. Oh."

"Anyone else? Jenkins, are you sleeping?"

"I think he's sleeping here."

"Jenkins, if you don't give me a slogan right now and convince me you aren't sleeping, I'll have your family killed."

"Zzzzz."

"Hmm. I like it. It appeals to the part of me that wants to go to sleep, while telling me as little about the car as possible. But it's still not quite there."

"Beep beep?"

"Are you stupid?"

"How about zoom?"

"Yes, zoom. It's almost everything I wanted, except...it's a little slow."

"Zoom zoom?"

"Yes! That's it! You and Jenkins work on some copy and have it on my desk before tomorrow morning."

"Zzzzz."