Tell us the story of how you met

We all agreed that the story of how Ted and his wife Mary had met was wonderful. It involved the following: 1) flowers; 2) roller skates; 3) pratfalls; 4) blushing; 5) birds singing, sun shining, hearts fluttering, (i.e. the perfect confluence of feeling & circumstance, emotion & weather, etc.)

"Now you tell your story, Bob and Jill. You tell us how you met and became husband and wife."

"I will tell the story," said Bob. "I was working in a grocery store and I was struggling to carry several loaves of bread."

"Struggling to carry bread? Why, what kind of weakling are you?"

ALL: Ha! ha! ha!

"No, Jim, I wasn't struggling because they were heavy, but because they were strangely shaped and I had to be careful not to crush them--that is why I struggled to carry them!"

ALL: Ah! [of course!]

"I was carrying the bread and I saw Jill. And she was without question the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, give or take."

ALL: Aw!

"This being decades ago, of course, before aging and sadnesses had taken their toll."

ALL: Of course.

"Why don't you get on with it," said Jill.

"But she was so beautiful back then and it caught me so off-guard--the average supermarket patron being ghoulish, and even the attractive ones usually wore sweatpants and no makeup so you could barely tell, just disgusting, gargoyles every one of them, I swear to God some of these people were the most horrible godforsaken things you've ever seen--that I lost my balance and dropped all the bread, right in front of her!"

ALL: Ha! ha! [Smooth one, Bob!]

"Well I was mortified, and Jill began helping me pick up the bread I had dropped. I thanked her and said, 'I owe you one. If you ever drop anything, just let me know.'"

"Tell them what I said."

"I'M GETTING THERE. But the thing I said was 'if you every drop anything, let me know, because I owe you one. And in response to that, she said, 'it's the lease I could do, since the reason you dropped everything was you were staring at me.'"

ALL: [impressed noises of approval and satisfaction]

"Why, it is as if you were made for each other!"

"That is what we thought."

"Richard, why don't you tell the story of how you met your wife Daisy."

"There is no story," mumbled Richard, taking a long drag from his slender wine glass.

"May I tell the story of how I met my wife Martha?" Robert asked.

ALL: Yes! Do tell! [etc.]

"It was tonight. We had joined our mutual friends for a dinner party and we were going around the circle telling the stories of how we met our wives. Why, I believe you were there, Ted!"

"Why yes, I believe I was!"

"And you, Bob!"

Bob says nothing.

We had been flirting with our eyes all evening, giving each other coy smiles and whatnot. We were meant to be together from the very first!"

Ted slapped Richard on the back in congratulations. Martha glanced at her watch.