Fired for stealing company garbage

BOSS: Jenkins, I'm sorry, but we're going to have to let you go.
JENKINS: Wha--why? Is there something wrong with my performance.
BOSS: We can't have thieves working here, and you've been stealing from the company.
JENKINS: Why, whatever do you mean?

JENKINS considers the millions he's embezzled from the company. With two fingers, he strokes the revolver he has hidden in his jacket pocket.

BOSS: Don't play retarded, Jenkins. We have security footage of you taking home your used paper cups with you at the end of the day, rather than throwing them in the trash. Packing used papers in your briefcase.
JENKINS: So?
BOSS: So? That's the company's garbage, that's what's so!
JENKINS: Well if it's just going to get thrown away, I guess I just don't see what the big deal is.
BOSS: Don't see? We've missed our garbage quota for the last three months because of you!
JENKINS: Quota?
BOSS: Yes! Why, without garbage, what would birds use to build their nests?
JENKINS: Straw? Or grass?
BOSS: Not small birds! Large birds! Man-sized birds, who wear suits and work in office buildings!

A breeze moves the curtain. JENKINS spies a large nest made of rope, cardboard and office detritus on the ledge. BOSS notices and closes the window with his face.

JENKINS: I guess I hadn't thought of that.
BOSS: Well that's the kind of attitude that's getting you fired, Jenkins. Always thinking of yourself instead of the large birds who need your garbage to build their homes and lay their eggs.

BOSS begins preening his feathers. He spits a mite the size of an orange onto his desk.