Ghost Finders: Little girl's room

M. runs wires around the room, setting up cameras and recorders and other electronic equipment. P. fucks around, knocking toys over and pulling books off shelves. He disapproves of everything. M: OK, so in this room -- are you listening, P.? P: (out of tune) JEREMY'S FOREIGN. YAH-ESTERDAY! M: P.! P: What! M: Quiet! What are you doing? P: I thought you wanted me to start singing! M: No! P: I thought you said "can you start singing, P." M: "No! I said, "are you listening, P." P: Oh. (insulted) Of course I'm listening, BIRDBRAIN! M: Well fine. I was just saying, in this room, the family's felt a lot of cold spots, and they've heard whispering. P: Sounds like a lot of horseshit to me. M: Stop. We're here to record what we find and debunk what we can. P: I'll debunk it right now -- these people are assholes. M: Stop. Just stop moving around, if there are any presences in the room, we want them to feel comfortable. And stop shouting. P: WHO'S SHOUTING! M: Ssh! They're quiet. M: Hello? P: What. M: No, ssh. I'm talking to the spirits. They're quiet. M: Hello? P: What! M: P! P: Well I didn't know if that was still for the spirits or not! M: Fine. From now on, if it's for you, I'll say "P." OK? P: Fine! You should have done that from the start, that's what I say! M: Yes, yes, fine. They're quiet. M: If there are any spirits in this room, we ask you to make your presence known. (pause) Knock on a window, move a curtain. Just let us know you're here. P: Or shout at us. M: Yes, that would be fine. P: It would be better, because then we'd know it was a ghost, not some bullshit mouse. M: OK, well, whatever you can show us. They're quiet. P. shines his flashlight on a toy plane on a high shelf. P: What's that thing. M: Ssh. What? P: I said what's that thing. M: That's a toy plane, P. P: No it's not, idiot. P. moves a small child-size desk/chair combo under the shelf. He stands on it and reaches for the plane. He'd probably be able to reach it without the shelf, but whatever. M: P., stop, we've got an investigation -- P. very quickly loses his balance and crashes to the floor. P: Aah! M: P.! Stop it! P: Help me! M: You fell! Just stand up! P: A ghost pushed me! M: (believes him) Wait, what? Really? P: I was reaching for the plane and it pushed me off the desk! M: That's incredible. P: It pushed me and then it called me a goober! M: What! Are you SURE you didn't just lose your balance? P: (believing it himself now) I'm sure! I was reaching for the plane, and it said, "get off my desk, goober!" M: (to the spirit) If you want us to leave, we'll respect your wishes. But we'd love to ask you a few questions. Just make yourself known to me -- P: Question time's over, ghost! P. punches the mirror on the little girl's dresser. P: GRRAAAH!