[Here at home, I uncovered two pages of Mrs. Racko's Class, stories I wrote in fourth grade. We had creative writing time once a week, and then the class would sit in a circle and read our stories, and I remember this one in particular being wildly popular -- perhaps because I used all my classmates as characters (and also, I am almost certainly exaggerating how popular it was). I remember I was basically trying to write Sideways Stories from Wayside School. Consider the whole thing sic'd.]
Mrs. Racko
Mrs. Racko was the meanest teacher in Lake Darda School. "She's going to kill me!" thought Leigh Kobelenski. Leigh ran into the classroom. She was 1 minute late. Mrs. Racko wrote her name on the board. "Where's Chris R.?" whispered Joy. "He's sick." replied Carlo. Mrs. Racko wrote Joy, Carlo, and Chris R. on the board. "Chris R's absent!" exclaimed Chris S. Mrs. Racko wrote Chris S.'s name on the board. David H. was playing with his blue eraser mouse. He was throwing it up and down. But then, he threw it to far. It flew throgh the air and hit Mrs. Racko in the stomach. It made Mrs. Racko trip over her desk. Erin and Sarah giggled. Mrs. Racko put, David H., Erin, Sarah, Mr. Mousy, Mrs. Racko, and desk on the board. By 9:23, everyone's name was on the board. I think you have a pretty good idea how mean Mrs. Racko was! I bet your glad she's not your teacher!
The Amazing Sissors
It was a normal day in Mrs. Racko's class. It was 9:05 and everyone's name was on the board. Except Jeff. He was absent. Mrs. Racko was about to write Jeff's name on the board for being absent, when the sissors floated out from their box. They zoomed after Mrs. Racko at 50 m.p.h. "Your only allowed to go 25 m.p.h. in here!" snapped Mrs. Racko. Mrs. Racko was about to put sissors on the board when the sissors gave her a moehawk. Mrs. Racko shrieked. She had never seen something so ugly in her life. "YOU LOUSY GOOD FOR NOTHING EXCUSES FOR SISSORS!" screamed Mrs. Racko. Everyone gasped, exept for Ricky. he was sleeping. Erin laughed. Snip! Snip! Snip! Erin shrieked. Everyone had a mohawk by 9:46, but Jeff
[page(s) missing]
was excited. The amazing sissors were jumping out of their boxes. "Stay in your boxes!" snapped Mrs. Racko. Mrs. Racko wrote Amazing Sissors on the board. But secretly, she actually felt happy. Just then, Santa Clause walked in the room. "Let's unmask him!" shouted Joy. Mrs. Racko put Joy's name on the board. "HO! HO! HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!" shouted Santa. Mrs. Racko put Santa Clause on the board. "LET ME HAVE A CANDY CANE, OR I'LL GIVE YOU CARROTS INSTEAD OF COOKIES!" exclaimed Kristen. Mrs. Racko put Kristen and checked Santa's name for not giving Kristen a candy cane. Santa passed out cole to the class. "WHAT'S THIS!" shouted Leah. "Don't you like barbaques?" joked Santa. Leah threw the cole back at Santa. It hit him in the stomach. Santa went flying, and landed on Mrs. Racko. Mrs. Racko couldn't breath. Santa was too heavy. Mrs. Racko circled Santa, Leah, and cole on the board. Just then, the Amazing Sissors floated out of their boxees. They cut the fake Santa's coustome into threads. Underneath they saw the school cyciatriest Mr. Thario (In his underwear!) holding 4 poodles. "Ha! Ha! Nice underwear!" laughed Joey. Mrs. Racko put J-J-J-J on the board. "My name is Joey!" "Sorry!" Mrs. Racko said. She wrote and checked Joey. "I think the cyciatrist needs a cyciatrist!" laghed Rachel. Mrs. Racko put Rachel on the board. "You must go!" shouted Mrs. Racko. So Mr. Thario and his 4 poodles left, being showered by coal.
[So I kind of went to the "name on the board" and "hit in the stomach" wells a lot. Sentence construction is a little repetitive. Still, does this make any less sense than any of the trash I've written lately? No. B-.]
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
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