Songs about shooting weasels

My favorite songs are the ones about shooting weasels.  I find them the easiest to relate to out of the songs you're likely to hear on the radio or places like that.  There aren't so many of them, but that's actually one of the things I like about them: because it is not one of the trendier topics you can write a song about, usually the ones that come out about shooting weasels are pretty knowledgeable of the subject and will be able to express something about the subject from firsthand experience.

Shooting weasels is a much derided pastime, unfairly, in my estimation.  Of course you have those who believe an animal should never be harmed for sport -- but I've always felt we're never going to change each others' minds so the thing to do is just to respect each others' opinions and that's that.  But even the game hunters don't like us so much, which is a bit harder to swallow.  They think because they stalk their animals whereas we merely stick our guns into weasel holes and blast several shots without looking, that there is a distinction between our hobbies.  I don't think that's a fair assessment -- I think there's just as much sport in shooting weasels as their is in anything, because sometimes you shoot down a hole and you don't even hit anything, it's just sort of luck-of-the-hole.

The songs I like about shooting weasels are usually ones with a more upbeat tone and a dance beat, although not really "dance-y" like club music but just something with a little swing that you can dance to.  I think they most evocatively capture the real fun and family atmosphere of shooting weasels with your friends, of popping open a couple beers and ripping up someone's lawn blasting shotguns down weasel holes and pulling bloody, gutted weasel pelts out of the ground and waving them around over your head.

I'll listen to an anti-shooting weasel song, too, if it at least displays a fundamental understanding of the issue.  Which, admittedly, is rare, but you can find a couple.  Most of my friends say absolutely not, they won't listen to that kind of thing, but I like to have an open mind, if it's got a good tune and a little swing you can dance to.

I tried to write a song about shooting weasels once.  But I don't know how notes or chords work and I accidentally punched a hole through my grampa's guitar when I tried to play it.  My song sounded real bad and my friends and loved ones made fun of me for it.

We do like to listen to music while we're shooting weasels sometimes, but mostly we do it in silence.  All the better to hear the wind scraping the leaves and the trickling of a lovely brook and the scream and wheeze and deflation of a newly ripped-apart weasel.  It's what heaven sounds like, I imagine, when you make it there.  And in heaven, there are no anti-weasel shooting songs, and there are no empty holes, and every time you fire a shot, a thousand weasels die.