Coriander

As your master of ceremonies, I've been asked to list all the herbs I can think of.

Coriander.

Ummmmm.......

Ok, there's another one that -- it's like coriander.  Something similar, with a similar sound and letters.  Like, celery, but obviously it's not...

Aaaahh.  Jeez.

Coriander.  Cor...cor.......something with "cor," I feel like.  Or "co" or "cuh."  That's just the one I'm thinking of.  Obviously I know there are others, but I'm hung up on this one......

Let's see.  I'll start over.  "Coriander."  Ok, so I said coriander, and then the second one was........

Wow.  Ok.  Let me try to find another angle to attack this from.

Ladies and gentlemen, please, stop showering me with your disapprobation and with your garbage.  I know you are impatient, and you have every right to be.  It is not helping the process of helping me think of herbs, which is merely the first part of tonight's ceremony.  We have much to get through -- the introducing of the acts, the various transitions.  And that's just my job.  But my job can't begin until I name all the herbs I can think of.  And if I can only think of one, well, technically I can start the show, but I wouldn't be very satisfied with my own performance.  I'm going to need to name, minimum, three herbs before we can proceed.  Does that sound fair?

Coriander!  No, sorry.  Colander?  Calendar?  Was I thinking of calendars?  Or is Calendar also an herb?  Maybe one was named after the other?  Does anyone -- can anyone look that up on their phone or something?

Ok, calendars, listen.  We can move on and forget about naming herbs as long as I can name the months instead.  January, February...uh, pass.  April...August...pass.  November?  One more, and that's it.  If I can name one more month.  What month is it now?  April?  Well, I already got that one.  What was the previous month?  Well, the one before the previous month was February, I remember that.  Pass.  When were you born, miss?  April?  Well, that's this month, isn't it?  Happy coriander.

I've been muttering to myself for sixty minutes?  Well, thank you all for coming.