Right now Igor, the Russian kid from across the hall is lying on my bed because his roommate is watching a football game loudly. So he's lying on my bed talking to his girlfriend. I really don't want to hear this conversation, but I don't really have a choice. This is what I've heard.
"You'll be the horse and I'll be a cowboy. Ride 'em, cowboy."
Honest to God.
Then he turns to me and goes "Chris, my girlfriend tells me that if I was the last man and she was the last woman on earth, I would have to repopulate the world with a cantaloupe."
Then he gets back on the phone and says "Bring on the cantaloupe, baby."
Even though I should go down the hall because this is without a doubt somehow scarring my psyche, I can't leave. I just can't leave.
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