NGW Post O' the Day

This is the top post on the NGW RP Forums as of right now.

Food,Rides and Livestock OH MY!

by Benjamin Williams

( Scene opens to Benjamin Williams and his two best friends Tey and Leroy walking in the front gate at the Maryland State Fair, they take a few steps and a guy in a red apron runs up and snaps their picture and tells them they can cash it in afterwards and get the picture to savor the memory, they ignore him and keep walking, a few people recognize Williams but no one approaches him, they continue walking and finally come to a large stable looking building that has "Livestock show" written on the front banner, they all look at it for a second before finally Williams shrugs his shoulders and walks in, they walk by some pigs and then finally reach some goats, they all stand there a second and then Leroy sticks his hand in the cage to pet the goat) [That was some sentence]

Leroy: hey there fella...how are yo...

( Right as Leroy is finishing the sentence the goat rears it's head back and spits in Leroy's face, Williams and Tey start cracking up in laughter as Leroy starts yelling beligerantly at the goat and wiping his face off)

Leroy: I thought only Lama's spit at people...DAMNIT...that is the grossest fucking smell and taste ever...GOD...that was terrible...can we leave? [I thought only Tibetan religious leaders spit at people!]

(Just as Leroy finishes that sentence the goat spits on his leg, Leroy yells out an obsenity laced rant and then walks off cussing as Williams and Tey stand there cracking up, after they finish they walk off to find leroy, they finally find him talking with a girl, the girl has two teeth in her front top and a few on the bottom, the two are position fairly far apart)

Williams: hey Leroy...hi 7-10

Girl: 7-10?

Williams: the split between your teeth

Girl: jerk

Williams:like that's a new discovery, c'mon Leroy we're going to get some all day bands for the rides [Wrestlers are so cool]

Leroy: nice meeting you

Tey: he's lying

Williams: yeah definitely lying...see ya 7-10

(The guys walk off and reach the ticket booth, they all get the all day bands and then proceed to get on some of the rides, after the first few they all sit down)

Williams: I hate the spinning rides, they make me feel all queasy

Tey: I think I'm gonna die

Leroy: bitches [More proof that Dave Chappelle has had a negative effect on society. To his credit, I think he knows it.]

Williams: sorry that my head doesn';t like being spun around a million times

Leroy: I forgive you, let's get on that one

Williams: oh good can we?

Tey: yeah I'm definitely gonna die

Leroy: ok well wait until we get off

(the guys get on the ride and while Leroy appears to be having the time of his life the other two are closing their eyes and holding onto the handles of the ride, finally it ends and they get off and walk back down onto ground level)

Leroy: that was AWESOME!

Williams : you sick twisted little man

Tey: (mumbling incoherently)

Williams: god I feel so sick to my stomach, but that's ok..it'll be something like the butterflies going through the stomach's of all the competitors that are involved in the quarter,semi's and final's of tomorrow's show. [Nice segue. I bet you were wondering what this had to do with wrestling, too.] Butterflies are normal guys, so go ahead and let them flutter away, let them make you go crazy, go ahead and puke if you want, but when you see me standing acrossed the ring from you, the butterflies will leave you, you'll see the look in my eyes, you'll see my determination...you'll see what I'm all about, and the butterflies will
magically disappear because your heart will tell you what I've been saying for a few days now. This is my time, not yours. This is my event, not yours. That is MY gold medal, not yours. It's my number one contendership, not yours. So don't worry about it, just walk out, look pretty...and do your best not to shit your pants from the impact of my Burning Hammer, the reverse dvd for those of you that are uneducated. [The Burning Hammer, for those of you who aren't educated in fake wrestling moves, is a reverse Digital Versitile Disc.]


Leroy: enough jibber jabber, more rides bitches!

Williams: I'm done man, I gotta stay fresh for tomorrow and stop before I actually get sick

Leroy: Tey?

(Tey stands up and walks over to where Leroy and Ben are standing and wipes some sweat off his brow, he looks at Leroy and opens his mouth to speak and a split second later makes a gurgling noise and then pukes right into Leroy's face, Leroy falls backwars onto the ground freaking out trying to get the puke out of his eyes while Williams takes a step backwards and falls to the ground laughing, Tey sits down next to Leroy) [I think we can all agree there's nothing funnier than fake wrestlers puking in each other's faces.]

Tey: shit dude I'm really sorry about that

Leroy: SORRY?...SORRY!!!

Tey: but hey at least you got a free meal

Leroy: I HATE YOU

Tey: it's ok walk it off

(Williams stands up and walks over to a lemonade stand [Lemonade? Can you get any wimpier?] while the other two continue to bicker as leroy wipes more puke off his face, Williams stands there watching on and then looks out into the distance and tips his glasses down the bridge of his nose, he takes a deep breath and then releases it and nods [Taking a sip of his pink lemonade through his Krazy Straw])