Somebody help me out here:
So I was walking down the street and my friend turns to me and says "I'm thirsty. Let's go to that convenience store over there." And I said "No, that's too far." And he said "What are you talking about, it's right there." And I said "Buddy. You're wearing binoculars."
So I was in a bar and this guy was acting like a tough guy, so I said "Hey, buddy. You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk." And he said "I don't think so. I'm in a wheelchair."
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Either Branagan's or Jon Lam's. They came up with the bulk of those, but the binoculars one is good. Here is an entertaing bit from Steven Wright. "I once knew a man with a wooden leg... and a real foot".
Here is my little joke that I have been constantly throwing around in my mind the past few days. Tell me what you think:
*** Channeling 10th Grade English Class with Mr.Bentley when I was talking about different elements in a story and failed to say 'plot twist' correctly.***
Me: So this story has a very unexpected twat plist.
Class: *Laughing histarically*
Me: Ugh... umm... I mean twat plist... damnit.
Mr.Bentley: Well Dan, that was an interesting cunt-clusion.
*** All of this really happened except for what Bentley said. Oh my god, I totally wish he had now! ***
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