ATLANTIC BEACH, North Carolina--As New Orleans faces a reconstruction that could take years if not decades, some pussy-ass "hurricane" is tossling a few haircuts and making a couple basements soggy in North Carolina, revealing the state to be full of pansies.
"Oh jeez, the rain's really coming down," said North Carolina Gov. Mike Easley as he watched the hurricane reach shore from his spacious mansion. "How am I going to get to my car? I forgot my umbrella."
"I always forget my umbrella when it rains," Easley said, wringing his hands in trepidation.
The category one storm is wheezing and huffing along at 8 mph, hardly a breakneck speed. "Because the storm is moving so slowly, some areas could see rain for up to 36 hours straight" whined local weatherman Brad Wilkes, pausing momentarily, presumably to clear some sand out of his vagina. "It's gonna be rough."
Six coastal areas have been subject to mandatory evacuations, not that the yellow-bellied cowards of North Carolina would have stuck around anyway. Eight more counties also held voluntary evacuations.
"We all saw what happened to those poor people of New Orleans who weren't able to get out," said Hyde resident Drew Brillson, straightening his dress and checking his lipstick in his pocket compact. "We're not going to take that chance." Brillson then drove away as fast as his car would take him, leaving his wife and children behind, the gutless pantywaist.
New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin expressed mock sympathy to the craven weenies of North Carolina. "Category one? Ooh, too bad. Tell that little shit [Easley] to call me when the death toll reaches 5000. Then he's halfway there." When told that the state was expecting twelve inches of rainfall, Nagin rolled his eyes and advised the governor to "grow a dick. Seriously."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment