Friday, April 22, 2005
Love
I will kiss you quite red and feed you till you are plump. And if you are forward you shall see who is the stronger, a little girl who doesn't eat enough or a big strong man with cocaine in his body. In my last serious depression I took cocaine again and a small dose lifted me to the heights in a wonderful fashion. I am just now collecting the literature for a song of praise to this magical substance.
--Sigmund Freud, to his fiancée
Thursday, April 21, 2005
HEY BOSTERIANS!
Remember that stand up thing I told you about? Well now I have more details. It's at 2PM in room 206 of the Photonics Building. Along with me, you will be able to see fellow BU stand ups Rob O'Reilly, Christian Lynch, and Steve Macone as well as two sketch comedy groups (The Outtakes and Slow Children at Play) and improv group Liquid Fun. I think it's for a charity thing so it may cost you money, but it'll be worth it.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
In lieu of something funny, the first 100 words of my paper on the draft
With an ambiguous war on terrorism stretching our armed forces across multiple fronts and threatening to open up more, the military and national defense have come to the forefront of the national conversation in ways we never saw in the relatively peaceful ’90s. As the United States seeks to defeat a terrorist network that exists independent of national identities and borders with military invasions that are acknowledged by most if not all to be operations of choice, the question of conscription is on the minds of many. While both Presidential candidates insisted they were opposed to the draft before the
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
AH HAHAHA THE NEW POPE IS A NAZI
Never trust a German, ever
MAN, I NEED PHOTOSHOP UPDATE: In the mean time, this will have to do.
WHY? UPDATE: Because, that's why.
Expect more of this kind of thing when I am no longer suffocating under mountains of work.
MAN, I NEED PHOTOSHOP UPDATE: In the mean time, this will have to do.
WHY? UPDATE: Because, that's why.
Expect more of this kind of thing when I am no longer suffocating under mountains of work.
HEY BOSTERIANS!
I'll be doing stand up again on Saturday, April 23rd at the Photonics Center at BU (8 St. Mary's Street) from 2-4 PM. I believe the show will also feature the spectacular Slow Children at Play sketch comedy group and stand ups Rob O'Reilly, Steve Macone, and Christian Lynch.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Cheney Proud of Obscure Indie Collection
WASHINGTON--Days after President Bush showed members of the media his new iPod, Vice President Cheney proudly showed off his own mp3 player to assembled reporters on the steps of the Capitol Thursday afternoon.
“A lot of this is just filled with bootlegs from some of my favorite bands,” Cheney explained, holding up his 40 gig iPod. “I try to get as many albums as I can on vinyl. But I’ve got a lot of Built to Spill shows on here, some great Superchunk shows, and a bunch of Archers of Loaf.” The Vice President expressed particular pride in a recording of a Guided by Voices show “where you can totally here me yelling for ‘Motor Away’ right before they play it.”
The Vice President says that though the iPod is mostly reserved for live recordings, he also stores a few albums and boasted an extensive collection of back catalogues of some of his favorite artists. “I’ve got Big Black songs you’ve never even heard,” he chuckled. “Plus I’ve got pretty much everything Beat Happening ever recorded, most of Pavement’s other shit, and some stuff you wouldn’t believe.” When asked to elaborate, Cheney said “You’d think there wouldn’t be much cut off [1984 Minutemen album] ‘Double Nickels on the Dime’ worth hearing, but some of the stuff is just mind-blowing.”
The press conference grew tense after Cheney, playing an alternate version of Liz Phair’s “Stratford-on-Guy,” was asked by one reporter what he thought of Liz Phair’s latest release. When the reporter admitted to liking the single “Why Can’t I?” Cheney grew visibly upset. “What do I think? I think she sold her artistic integrity to bilk some cash out of pathetic yuppie suburbanites like yourself.” After no one said anything, Cheney angrily demanded to know if “anyone here has so much as heard of ‘Exile in Guyville.’” When no one responded, Cheney scoffed “Listen to ‘Fuck and Run.’ Then you can come talk to me about Liz Phair.” The Vice President could only be calmed by listening to some Mercury Rev and Shudder to Think.
Though Cheney said that most of his collection came from the ‘80s and ‘90s, he did have an appreciation for some modern acts. “I think [Clem Snide’s] ‘End of Love’ was almost as good as ‘The Ghost of Fashion.’ I loved [The Go! Team’s] ‘Thunder Lightning Strike’ and I can’t wait to see what The Walkmen do next.” The Vice President also said that though he was lukewarm about 2004’s “Antics,” he felt “Interpol are one of those special bands out there with a lot of potential.” He said that his favorite live show of recent years was “The Arcade Fire by a mile. I like ‘Funeral’ all right, but the songs are just unbelievable live.”
The press conference had to be cut short when Cheney got into an argument with Vice Presidential Chief of Staff I. (Scooter) Libby about whether the superior Lou Barlow project was Sebadoh or Dinosaur Jr.
“A lot of this is just filled with bootlegs from some of my favorite bands,” Cheney explained, holding up his 40 gig iPod. “I try to get as many albums as I can on vinyl. But I’ve got a lot of Built to Spill shows on here, some great Superchunk shows, and a bunch of Archers of Loaf.” The Vice President expressed particular pride in a recording of a Guided by Voices show “where you can totally here me yelling for ‘Motor Away’ right before they play it.”
The Vice President says that though the iPod is mostly reserved for live recordings, he also stores a few albums and boasted an extensive collection of back catalogues of some of his favorite artists. “I’ve got Big Black songs you’ve never even heard,” he chuckled. “Plus I’ve got pretty much everything Beat Happening ever recorded, most of Pavement’s other shit, and some stuff you wouldn’t believe.” When asked to elaborate, Cheney said “You’d think there wouldn’t be much cut off [1984 Minutemen album] ‘Double Nickels on the Dime’ worth hearing, but some of the stuff is just mind-blowing.”
The press conference grew tense after Cheney, playing an alternate version of Liz Phair’s “Stratford-on-Guy,” was asked by one reporter what he thought of Liz Phair’s latest release. When the reporter admitted to liking the single “Why Can’t I?” Cheney grew visibly upset. “What do I think? I think she sold her artistic integrity to bilk some cash out of pathetic yuppie suburbanites like yourself.” After no one said anything, Cheney angrily demanded to know if “anyone here has so much as heard of ‘Exile in Guyville.’” When no one responded, Cheney scoffed “Listen to ‘Fuck and Run.’ Then you can come talk to me about Liz Phair.” The Vice President could only be calmed by listening to some Mercury Rev and Shudder to Think.
Though Cheney said that most of his collection came from the ‘80s and ‘90s, he did have an appreciation for some modern acts. “I think [Clem Snide’s] ‘End of Love’ was almost as good as ‘The Ghost of Fashion.’ I loved [The Go! Team’s] ‘Thunder Lightning Strike’ and I can’t wait to see what The Walkmen do next.” The Vice President also said that though he was lukewarm about 2004’s “Antics,” he felt “Interpol are one of those special bands out there with a lot of potential.” He said that his favorite live show of recent years was “The Arcade Fire by a mile. I like ‘Funeral’ all right, but the songs are just unbelievable live.”
The press conference had to be cut short when Cheney got into an argument with Vice Presidential Chief of Staff I. (Scooter) Libby about whether the superior Lou Barlow project was Sebadoh or Dinosaur Jr.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
A Monologue, by Greg White
So I went to the grocer's market today...Sale on squash...sale on squash. So I went to the grocery store today. So I went--Blockbuster! Blockbuster closes too early. What's the point of having a--strip mall when the Shake A Paw closes at 9PM and--the CVS doesn't close until 11PM when the sign clearly says 10:30...
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