He's very fast

(2 enters, panting. 1 looks up from a magazine to see 2 leaning against the door frame)
“Are you OK man?”
“Yeah. Yeah.”
“Well where is it?”
“I don’t have it?”
1 stands up, concerned.
“You don’t have it? Where is it?”
“Jason has it. He got away.”
“He got away?”
“Yeah. We were in the Friendly’s and he went into the bathroom so I followed him in, but I couldn’t because it had a lock and he locked the door, so I waited for him outside the door, and he came out and I threw him against the wall and tried to get his wallet because I figured it was in there, but he hit me in the stomach and just booked it.”
“So did you chase after him?”
“Yeah. Well yeah, but he was too fast.”
“Too fast?”
“Yeah.”
“He weighs three hundred pounds.”
“I know. He’s very fast.”
“What do you mean he’s very fast? He weighs three hundred pounds! He weights twice as much as you do! How could he possibly outrun you?”
“Hey, man, you think I feel good about this whole thing? I got outran by a three hundred pound man, I have that to live with for the rest of my life, so why don’t you just cut me some slack right now?”
“Because it’s absurd. There’s no way—was he wearing roller skates?”
“OK, now you’re just—”
“No, no, I’m just trying to understand this! Was he wearing jets on his feet or something?”
“Stop laughing!”
“Oh no, I’m not laughing. I’m not laughing because you had a fucking simple task and you couldn’t get it done and now we’re fucked. Do you understand me? Fucked.” There is a long pause. “Did he have a scooter?”
“All right, really, that’s enough.”
“Well how could a three hundred pound person possibly outrun you?”
“It’s all in the strides, man! My legs are short, he’s got long beefy legs, it was like watching someone do the triple jump in the Olympics.”
“Oh my God.”
“He’s like a T. Rex. He’s all legs, no arms, every stride was like three feet long. You can’t outrun a T. Rex, man.”
“He’s not a T. Rex, he’s a Brontosaurus! He’s a docile fat creature with a long neck and a tiny head that feeds on foliage. He can’t run!”
“Actually, it’s not Brontosaurus, it’s Apatosaurus now. They changed the name, something about the Latin meanings.”
—“I don’t care.”