Normal Bill Is Dead, Scene 2

AT RISE: BILL sulks in bed. Upstairs, we hear KRISTY, making a lot of noise. BILL periodically looks at the stairs to see if she is coming down. The doorbell rings.

BILL
Kristy! Doorbell!

KRISTY
(offstage)
I can hear a doorbell, Bill.

(KRISTY moves to the door. We hear her speaking to someone. BILL tries to turn around to see who is there.)

KRISTY (continued)
(offstage)
I don’t think so--

(DAVIS sprints downstairs and rushes to BILL’s side.)


DAVIS
Bill? My God, I just heard.

BILL
Huh?

(KRISTY enters.)

KRISTY
I really think that Bill and I just need some time alone. Who are you?

DAVIS
My name is Davis. I know Bill from work.

BILL
Oh. Right. Davis. You work in IT, right?

DAVIS
Payroll.

BILL
Payroll, yes, I knew that.

DAVIS
Do you need anything?

BILL
Um, no, I think I’m OK.

DAVIS
I’ll be right back.

(DAVIS exits.)

KRISTY
Do you know this guy?

BILL
I don’t know. I’ve talked to him a few times. I think we had lunch once.

KRISTY
He doesn’t belong here. He’s not family, he’s not even a friend.


BILL
I don’t know, he seemed nice enough.

DAVIS
Bill, I brought you these.

(DAVIS wheels in an ornate flower arrangement.)

BILL
Wow, Davis, that’s beautiful.

DAVIS
Thanks, I made it myself.

BILL
Incredible!

DAVIS
I just wanted you to know that everyone down at the office is thinking about you.

BILL
Are they really? Hey, is Sandy coming?

DAVIS
No, Sandy said she had a lot of work to do.

BILL
Oh.

DAVIS
Well listen, don’t let it get you down. We all care about you and we’re rooting for you to pull through.

BILL
Wow, Davis, I can’t believe this. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.

KRISTY
All right, that’s nice but I think David has to leave.

DAVIS
It’s Davis.

KRISTY
Still, you really have to leave.
BILL
Wait a minute, why can’t he stay?

KRISTY
Because he doesn’t know us?

DAVIS
Oh, God. Kristy. I’m so sorry for you.

(DAVIS hugs KRISTY, his hands moving up and down her back. HE breathes into her hair. It is entirely inappropriate.)

KRISTY
Uh, thank you.

DAVIS
(into her ear)
If you ever need anyone to talk to, or hold you after Bill dies.

KRISTY
(pulling herself away)
OK, I see what this is about.

DAVIS
Do you remember when we met?

BILL
You two have met before?

DAVIS
Oh, God, Bill. You’re so brave. Do you need anything?

BILL
No, no, I don’t think I do right now.

DAVIS
Anything, please don’t be afraid to ask. Would you like me to fluff your pillow?

BILL
Well, now that you mention it.

(DAVIS grabs BILL’s pillow from under his head and begins fluffing it vigorously.)

DAVIS
Yes, Kristy and I met. At the company picnic, last year. Remember?

KRISTY
Vaguely.

BILL
(with no pillow, staring straight up)
That was fun.

DAVIS
The two of us retreated from the buzz of the party to a shady glen underneath a large, forgiving oak.

KRISTY
I don’t recall any large forgiving oaks.

DAVIS
And we talked--oh how we talked!

KRISTY
Oh, I think I remember. We talked about your sister.

DAVIS
Yes. Oh, God, yes.

(DAVIS, finished fluffing the pillow, drops it onto BILL’s face. BILL begins flailing his arms and crying out.)

DAVIS (continued)
Oh, my! Sorry. Let me get that for you.

KRISTY
Well thank you for the visit, but you need to leave.

DAVIS
Oh, Kristy, we have so much to catch up on.

BILL
Yes, we do need to catch up.


KRISTY
I know I’m all caught up, thank you.

(DAVIS laughs too much. HE puts his hand on KRISTY’s shoulder. SHE withdraws. DAVIS advances again. BILL moans.)

DAVIS
Oh, my, Bill, that’s right. How are you feeling?

BILL
It’s all dark.

KRISTY
I’ll turn on a light.

BILL
Metaphorically. It’s metaphorically dark.

KRISTY
Stop it, Bill. Think positive. You’ll live longer.

DAVIS
You know, my uncle had this exact disease.

BILL
Did he? How did he handle it?

DAVIS
It’s a horrible thing. No symptoms to speak of, no outward signs of illness. Just one day, poof!

BILL
Well I feel awful.

DAVIS
Oh, of course! So did he. But nobody believed him. That was the tragedy.

BILL
That is a tragedy.

KRISTY
Stop it.


DAVIS
He tried to be positive about it. He tried to listen to what everyone else was saying, about him being fine and all. He tried to fight through it.

KRISTY
Three of the four doctors agreed that Bill would recover if he stopped wallowing in it.

DAVIS
Oh, my uncle didn’t wallow. He went out there and lived life to the fullest, and one day he dropped dead. The coroner said his immune system never saw it coming.

KRISTY
(skeptical)
Really.

BILL
(truly taken)
Wow.

DAVIS
He was so upbeat, all the functions that would normally fight the disease relaxed. And that’s when the illness made its first strike.

KRISTY
Believing that Bill is going to die is only going to make him worse.

DAVIS
Oh, absolutely. That’s what really sets this disease apart. No matter how you feel, it’s still gonna kill you.

BILL
That’s horrible.

DAVIS
And the stress and the anticipation will drive you crazy. Really, the best way to get it over with is a bullet to the brain.

KRISTY
All right, you have to leave now!


DAVIS
I’m just trying to be honest with him, Kristy.

KRISTY
I know exactly what you’re doing, and I’m a little tired of it.

DAVIS
(moving in)
Oh, my dear, I’m sorry.

KRISTY
Go! Up the stairs and out the door.

BILL
Wait! Davis can’t leave, he’s like family!

KRISTY
We barely know him.

DAVIS
Bill, please. If there’s anything I can do for you--

BILL
No, thank you, Davis. You’ve proven your loyalty already.

KRISTY
Proven his loyalty? Have you completely lost it?

DAVIS
Kristy, please.

(DAVIS tried to put his finger to KRISTY’s lips, but SHE slaps it away.)

KRISTY
Enough! You have to go, immediately.

DAVIS
I understand. This is not the time.

KRISTY
There will never be a time, Davis.

BILL
Yes! The time is coming, and I want Davis to be here with us.
KRISTY
That’s not what we’re talking about, Bill.

DAVIS
(nervously covering)
Yes, of course that’s what we’re talking about. What else would we be talking about?

BILL
See?

DAVIS
Yeah. See?

BILL
I’m dying.

KRISTY
We know that, Bill.

DAVIS
Maybe I’ll come later. Should I come back later, Kristy?

KRISTY
I hope I never see you again.

BILL
What a terrible thing to say to our guest and our good friend!

KRISTY
My God, Bill, you can’t be this dense.

DAVIS
(choking up, newly inspired)
Look. If you don’t want me here, I’ll go. I wouldn’t want to impose. But Bill? I can honestly say that you are one of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever known.

BILL
Wow. Thank you, Davis. So much.

KRISTY
Then we’re agreed. Say your goodbyes.

BILL
No. Davis is staying and that’s that.
KRISTY
Bill, he’s leaving.

BILL
I’m the one who’s dying! I should be the one who gets to decide who’s here when I die.

KRISTY
And why is that?

BILL
Because I’m dying! I’m sick and I don’t have the strength to get out of bed.

KRISTY
Well I am out of bed, and I have the strength to kick you out of our house, Davis, and that’s what I’m doing now.

(KRISTY begins shoving DAVIS up the stairs.)

DAVIS
Oh God, Kristy, I just want to be close to you.

BILL
What?

(DAVIS breaks free of KRISTY and rushes over to BILL’s bed to cover.)

DAVIS
Nothing! Of course, I said nothing.

(DAVIS begins stroking BILL’s forehead.)

BILL
That feels nice. It’s nice to have someone here who’s capable of showing a little tenderness.

DAVIS
The man’s got a point.

KRISTY
Excuse me?


DAVIS
He’s on his way out the door. Can’t you show him a little respect? A little love? Before it’s too late, Kristy. Because it’s almost too late already. This is his time.

BILL
That’s almost exactly what I’ve been saying!

KRISTY
Oh, this is rich.

DAVIS
You wouldn’t want to regret anything after he’s gone.

KRISTY
The only thing I would regret is if I let a scumbag like you dirty up our house any longer.

DAVIS
You’re just saying that out of love.

KRISTY
Stop it! I want you out, right this second.

DAVIS
Think of Bill! Think of what he wants. What he needs.

KRISTY
He doesn’t need you. He needs a positive outlook, and if he really is dying, then he needs time alone with family.

DAVIS
I don’t want to tell you how to be a wife, but if you were my wife--

KRISTY
You never will be my wife, Davis.

DAVIS
My lover, then.

KRISTY
No.

DAVIS
Well, I mean you never know. He is dying.

KRISTY
This is inappropriate, you need to leave.

DAVIS
Oh honey, let’s not fight like this.

KRISTY
Get out right now or I’ll call the police.

DAVIS
That’s no way for two adults to solve their conflict.

BILL
(suddenly urgent)
I think I’m dying now.

(There is a long pause. Everyone suddenly forgets the argument.)

BILL (continued)
(clearly rehearsed, but genuine)
I want to say a couple things first. Before I go. First off, Kristy. I love you and I forgive you and I hope you can forgive me. That goes for everyone, really, so I hope you can pass that message along. If I have caused you any pain or anguish or-- discomfort, well I’m sincerely sorry. I feel awful about that. I think if there’s one thing that everyone should remember, it is that you should never feel that anything is owed to you. You owe everything you have and everything you are to the people who love you. That whole attitude that encourages people to think of themselves first--that’s poisonous. I only wish I had realized this before now. Please remember that, if nothing else. I love you. Goodbye.

(BILL closes his eyes and sighs. He sinks back into his pillow. Everyone is silent and looks down. KRISTY brushes away a tear. BILL is dead...except his heart monitor keeps beeping at regular intervals. After a little while, KRISTY notices. DAVIS notices it as well. DAVIS flicks the screen with his fingernail and jiggles a few cords in the back. He can’t figure it out. BILL opens his eyes. No one says anything.)
BILL
Huh. I guess...I guess I mistimed it.

(No one knows what to say.)

KRISTY
(quietly)
That was very nice.

BILL
Thanks. I guess it would have been nicer if I had really died.

DAVIS
You’ll get it next time.

(BILL and KRISTY look at DAVIS. All three realize that it is strange that he is here.)

DAVIS (continued)
I’m going to leave now.

BILL
Thanks for coming, Davis.

(DAVIS takes one last look at KRISTY before he walks sadly up the stairs and exits.)

BILL
Nice guy, that Davis.

KRISTY
You should get some rest.

BILL
Yeah.

(BLACKOUT)

END OF SCENE 2