Normal Bill Is Dead, Scene 3

AT RISE: BILL is sleeping. HE snores gently. KRISTY watches over him. SHE puts her hand to his forehead to feel his temperature. SHE nudges him awake.

BILL
Hmm?

KRISTY
You were sleeping.

BILL
Yeah. What time is it?

KRISTY
It’s a little after nine.

BILL
Have you eaten?

KRISTY
No. Why, are you hungry?

BILL
No, I guess not.

KRISTY
You look better.

BILL
Yeah?

KRISTY
You do.

BILL
I’m not getting better, though.

KRISTY
No, I guess not.

BILL
The doctor said so.

KRISTY
I know what the doctors said.

BILL
Yes.

KRISTY
But you look better. You probably just needed a little sleep.

BILL
For now, maybe.

KRISTY
Yes. And now you’re better.

BILL
Temporarily.

KRISTY
Yes. But soon, you’ll be a rotting corpse in the ground.

BILL
Ye--what?

KRISTY
Oh. That’s what you wanted me to say, right?

BILL
What are you--

KRISTY
Don’t play dumb, Bill.

BILL
I’m not, I don’t know why you would say something so awful.

KRISTY
So only you’re allowed to say awful things?

BILL
Well, yes and no. I mean, there’s different kinds of awful, but--

KRISTY
Oh yes?

BILL
Yes, Kristy. There are certain things that should be acknowledged and discussed openly.
KRISTY
And what are some of these things?

BILL
Well, there’s my suffering.

KRISTY
Uh huh.

BILL
And my illness. That’s another thing we should acknowledge.

KRISTY
Go on!

BILL
However, my death? Not to be discussed.

KRISTY
Interesting. And why not, Bill?

BILL
Because it’s needlessly morbid--

KRISTY
I see. I see.

BILL
You’re mocking me.

KRISTY
That’s right.

BILL
And have been for some time. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.

KRISTY
Serious question, Bill.

BILL
I hope it’s serious.

KRISTY
The illness is OK to discuss, but the death is out of bounds?


BILL
Yes, that’s exactly it.

KRISTY
Aren’t we really avoiding the big issues here?

BILL
How so.

KRISTY
Well, the illness, you and doctor number four would have us believe, inexorably leads towards death.

BILL
I guess.

KRISTY
So to discuss one is really to discuss the other. They’re inextricably linked.

BILL
That’s not the issue here, Kristy.

KRISTY
Yes it is!

BILL
I just want you to recognize I’m sick, you know? That everyone has their time and that this is my time. I mean, you’ve been one hell of a wife.

KRISTY
Pardon?

BILL
I’d like you to treat me like a sick person. I need comfort, Kristy.

KRISTY
You don’t need comfort. You’re not asking for comfort.

BILL
I am, though, aren’t I? I asked you to open a window, you refuse, you say it’s fine, we don’t need to open a window. I ask you to fluff my pillow, you laugh at me.


KRISTY
Of course I laugh! I mean, God, Bill! Fluff your pillow?

BILL
It’s so flat, is all.

KRISTY
You couldn’t care less about the pillow. You just want the attention. There. I said it.

BILL
Well so what if I do?

KRISTY
You want me to say you’re sick? I’ve said it before, I’ll say it another hundred times before you die. You’re sick. You’re sick!

BILL
I’m not just sick. I’m in such pain!

KRISTY
You are not.

BILL
Am too! Jesus, my head--it feels like my eyes are being pushed out of my skull!

KRISTY
Sounds like a headache, I’ll ask the doctor to write you a prescription for some Advil.

BILL
My joints!

KRISTY
Your joints now?

BILL
They feel--disconnected.

KRISTY
Like your joints are having an existential crisis? Are your joints sixteen years old? Do your joints’ parents just not understand them at all?


BILL
That’s a terrible pun.

KRISTY
I’m just trying to help.

BILL
You want to help me?

KRISTY
Yes, I do.

BILL
Well then I want you to pull the plug.

KRISTY
(laughing)
You want me to pull the plug? On you?

BILL
Yes. I’m ready to go. I’m finished with the mortal world, my soul is ready.

KRISTY
Yeah?

BILL
I’m serious. I’ve had enough of the pain. The torment!

KRISTY
Bill, these cords aren’t hooked up to anything.

BILL
Of course they are!

KRISTY
What am I supposed to pull?

BILL
I don’t know. Feeding machine? Respirator?

KRISTY
I don’t think we have those things.

BILL
Well find something. I’m serious.

KRISTY
All right, you’re serious? Let’s see what we can’t pull around here.

(KRISTY looks for a cord to pull.)

KRISTY (continued)
Should I just start yanking all of these? See which one works the fastest?

BILL
Well, uh, I don’t know. Maybe you shouldn’t--

KRISTY
(holding a cord)
Hey, this one’s nice and thick. Looks important. Let’s see.

(KRISTY yanks on it. BILL’s heart monitor flat lines. They both panic.)

BILL
Oh God. Help! Help!

KRISTY
Jesus, where did this--

BILL
I’m sorry Jesus! I’m sorry for all that stuff I did!

KRISTY
Calm down, would you? Just calm down!

BILL
What did you do? You killed me! Are you crazy?

(KRISTY finds where the plug should go and plugs it back in. The heart monitor resumes beeping. They both breathe harder for a few seconds.)

BILL
What happened?

KRISTY
(just realizing it herself)
Your heart didn’t stop beating. It was the heart monitor. It just stopped working.

BILL
Oh. I thought that was it.

KRISTY
I thought it didn’t do anything. I mean, it didn’t. I was right. But...

BILL
Why would you do that? I can’t believe--

KRISTY
I didn’t think it would do anything! I didn’t think you die. And--stop! You didn’t die.

BILL
But why would you even make me think I was?

KRISTY
It was an accident. And, damn it, I was right!

BILL
Well you sure taught me a hell of a lesson, didn’t you.

KRISTY
I thought that nothing would happen. That I could unplug everything in the room and you’d see that you were still alive.

BILL
How does that help me?

KRISTY
So you could be normal Bill again. Not dying Bill. I don’t like dying Bill. He asks for a lot of stupid things and makes a fuss. Normal Bill doesn’t do that.

BILL
I can’t be normal Bill anymore. I’m dying.

KRISTY
I know. I thought you wanted me to pull it, and I could pull it and you would be fine. Why are you so upset?

BILL
I just wanted to see what you’d do. I guess I wanted you to say no. And get angry.

KRISTY
I don’t get it.

BILL
I don’t know. Or maybe I wanted you to do it. So I knew you’d do it if I wanted you to.

KRISTY
(laughing)
That doesn’t make any sense.

BILL
(laughing)
It doesn’t, does it?

KRISTY
That’s not normal.

BILL
Well, you see? I told you.

(BILL and KRISTY laugh for a bit. Then, they are quiet.)

BILL
Could you just turn that thing off? The beeping is driving me nuts.

KRISTY
Yeah, sure. Of course. Anything.

(KRISTY turns off the heart monitor. She pulls her chair closer to the bed and, a little embarrassed, grabs BILL’S hand.)

KRISTY (continued)
Bill?

BILL
Yeah?

KRISTY
I need to ask you something and I hope you won’t be offended.

BILL
OK. Go ahead.

KRISTY
Are you really dying.

BILL
OK. Well, I’m sick.

KRISTY
I know you’re sick.

BILL
I am sick. But you asked if I was dying.

KRISTY
Yeah.

BILL
Well, I don’t know. I mean, yes, I’m dying. Eventually.

KRISTY
Yeah, I guess we’re all dying.

BILL
I know that’s not what you meant though. So I’m going to try to answer.

KRISTY
OK.

BILL
I think--I mean, it’s hard. But why are you asking? What should it matter?

KRISTY
(trying to prevent another fight)
No, no. It doesn’t matter.

BILL
So why do you keep bothering me about this? Just let me live in peace. Or die in peace, if that’s the case.

KRISTY
I just want to know. I think it’s important that we both know.

BILL
Well I know! Why isn’t that good enough for you?

KRISTY
It is, I’m sorry.

BILL
It isn’t! This whole thing, our fake little reconciliation just now. That was phony! Because you wanted me to back down so you could be right.

KRISTY
Bill! Absolutely not!

(BILL is embarrassed. KRISTY is offended and stands up, but doesn’t go anywhere.)

BILL
I’m sorry. That was stupid of me to say. It was the strain.

KRISTY
OK.

BILL
Sit down, please. I’m going to answer your question. Because I know what you’re thinking. And I think you may be onto something. I think part of me has been--not faking--exaggerating how bad this is. Maybe there’s some sick part of me that wanted to see how you’d react if I was dying. Since I can’t be alive to see how you’d react when I actually died.

KRISTY
I don’t think that’s sick. I think we’re all a little curious.

BILL
Well, I don’t know. So I’m sick.

KRISTY
And I know that. And I’m sorry if I haven’t always treated you that way. But I’m just so torn up.

BILL
There’s nothing to be torn up about.

KRISTY
I don’t know what to believe. If you’re sick or you’re dying or you’re out of your mind. I just want you to get better, or at least act that way. I can’t take the suspense of waiting for you to die anymore.

BILL
Maybe I could die...a little slower, at least.

KRISTY
That would be nice.

BILL
(smiling now)
Or at least, I could be a little less obvious about it.

KRISTY
Nobody has to know.

(Short pause.)

BILL
How long do you think I really have?

KRISTY
I really don’t know.

(Another short pause. BILL suddenly leaps out of bed.)

BILL
Well, there’s no use waiting. Right?

KRISTY
I’m so glad. It’s late. I’m going to start dinner.

BILL
I’ll be up in a minute.

(KRISTY exits upstairs. BILL looks around the room, as if admiring it for the first time.)

BILL (continued)
I guess I won’t be needing this old junk anymore!

(BILL gives the heart monitor a kick. It wobbles and hits him in the head. HE screams and falls, unconscious. KRISTY, having heard the crash and the scream, rushes downstairs.)

KRISTY
Oh God! Bill!

(KRISTY rushes over to BILL. SHE moves the equipment and props him up against the bed. SHE shakes him and checks his pulse. SHE drops his head, stunned. HE is dead.)

KRISTY (continued)
He really died.

(KRISTY steps back.)

KRISTY (continued)
I guess it was his time.

(KRISTY laughs a little, then cries.)

(BLACKOUT)

END