Life insurance

WITHERED OLD HUSK OF A MAN wheeled in by NEPHEW.

AGENT
May I help you?

NEPHEW
Yes, my uncle needs to buy a life insurance policy.

WITHERED OLD HUSK OF A MAN
Oooooohhhh.

AGENT
I see.

NEPHEW
I understand we can get him a policy without a physical?

WITHERED OLD HUSK OF A MAN
Uuuuhh uuuuhh oooooohhhohhhhohohhhhh.

AGENT
Um, well that is not exactly our policy...

NEPHEW
What do you mean?

WITHERED OLD HUSK OF A MAN
Oof. Uuf.

AGENT
Well, we do need some kind of assurance that the policy owner is not...that his death is not...imminent.

WITHERED OLD HUSK OF A MAN
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oooooooooorr.

NEPHEW
What are you talking about?

AGENT
Well, we can open policies for every dying--

WITHERED OLD HUSK OF A MAN
Yyyyoooooooooww.

AGENT
Every dying--

WITHERED OLD HUSK OF A MAN
Ooooooooohhhh!

AGENT
Every dying person who walked through the door. That wouldn't be good business.

WITHERED OLD HUSK OF A MAN
Wah.

NEPHEW
He's not dying, he's in fine shape. Why, I just played tennis with him yesterday. He beat me around the court, isn't that right old man?

NEPHEW slaps WITHERED OLD HUSK OF A MAN playfully on the shoulder.

AGENT
It appears he's passed out.