So I log onto the DFP's site for the first time in like six months to see if BU announced a commencement speaker yet

and this is the shit I have to see.



So I saw this and I clicked on the picture because I was going to see if there was a high-res version of the photo so I could paste it here, and here is what my post was gonna be:

I hope this picture didn't make the print edition. Lord knows they've pushed out enough content to make sure there's space for crosswords and sudoku. Now they're wasting precious column inches on nerds?

Or something, I don't know.

(By the way, click the picture to enlarge it. You really should do this, but just to reiterate, what you are seeing is some dude (sporting what appears to be an Ostertag-esque flat top or perhaps a Will Smith circa 1993-esque hi-top fade) with a broom between his legs chasing after a girl wearing a cape. The caption reads "BU Quidditch members CAS sophomore Sean Culleton and CAS freshman Hilary Wartinger, also a Free Press photographer, demonstrate how to play muggle Quidditch." Of the many questions this raises, perhaps the most pressing is: I assume in Harry Potter, they're flying around on those brooms, yeah? And the fun of the game is chasing each other around on brooms soaring majestically over the stadium or whatever, no? So isn't taking the flying out of it kind of crucial? Because this looks like they're just playing freeze tag or something only one guy has to shuffle around with a broom between his legs.)

But anyway, like I said, I clicked on the picture to see if there was a higher-res version, and I didn't find one of those photo pages like I expected, where there's the photo, some pun (that series still stands as perhaps my biggest failure in life. Only 30 in one semester? I must have missed thousands. I was real lazy with that.), a brief caption and the photo credit. Oh no. What I found instead was a 659-word story about college kids playing Quidditch.

Really. I counted.

Or, more accurately, my computer did, although I think it's in denial.



And by the way, I read the whole thing. After tomorrow I will have worked approx. 52 hours this week not counting writing done at home and I read the whole thing.

Someone let me know when BU's picked a commencement speaker so I don't have to go through that again.

(Although, to be fair, had I not read the whole thing, I would not have come across this delicious pun.

Culleton said he hopes to have a large enough team by next fall to compete in the Intercollegiate Quidditch World Cup at Middlebury College, but said the plan is still up in the air.

HA! Wonderful!)