Last joke in old notebook/first joke in new notebook

OUT WITH THE OLD: Youth pastor proves you can follow Jesus and still have embarrassing facial hair

IN WITH THE NEW: My surgeon is a crab

The old notebook served me well, since about Nov. 2005. It got warped and a lot of the ink ran (not my ink, but like the line/margin ink) because of one particularly intense Lake Compounce rainstorm, and it took up a hell of a lot of pocket space (very fat), but it was a trusty companion. It was small, fat, gray and unpretentious--and since I am or aspire to at least two of those qualities, I grew to be quite fond of it. And yet, as I got to the final pages, I knew that I wouldn't be able to get something just like it. I needed something slimmer that didn't weight me down when I was walking (I have a weird thing about stuff in my pockets--I try to keep it to a minimum).

So I got this new Moleskine thing, and I'm not so sure about it. Like I said, the other one was unpretentious and accepting. This thing is small, black and leater(ish) with one of those cloth bookmark-type things connected to the binding and another string that goes around the cover so the thing doesn't open when you don't want it to. The pages have kind of an ivory shade to them and the lines (there are no margins and no space at the top of the page) are a crisp, professional black. The title page looks like this:

In case of loss, please return to:
______________________
______________________
______________________
______________________
As a reward: $ ___________

Which is practical, I guess, but the reward line is presumptuous and a little intimidating. I have half a mind to cross out the dollar sign and write "kiss on the cheek" on the reward line, but that could end up being worse. I'll probably just leave it blank and then hate myself forever for doing it if I ever do lose it, God forbid.

Plus, this notebook came with a note explaining its origin or history or whatever, proudly proclaiming itself the notebook of Hemingway and other artists. I bought it before I quit Barnes & Noble because it was the only notebook in the store and I knew I'd need one in a couple months so I figured I'd get one now while the employee discount was still in effect, not because I want to compare myself to Hemingway every time I come up with another crab-surgeon joke. I can't live up to that kind of pressure. I feel like this notebook is judging me--already once I've thought of a joke, grabbed the pen & notebook, saw the classy ivory pages and professional black lines staring up at me and decided against writing it down. The joke was as follows: "His last name was Moore and he was fat. We called him 'Ham' as in 'More Ham.'" So maybe no big loss there, but the last thing I need is to be judged by my notebook now. So we'll see how it goes, I guess.

("Solipsism" is the word of the week around here, folks, isn't it easy and wonderful and pleasing and fun???)