Meet your crab surgeon

NURSE OR ASSISTANT OR SOMETHING
Don't worry, Mr. Lamb, this is a very simple procedure, you should be out of the hospital before the weekend.

MR. LAMB
Well that sounds great.

N.O.A.O.S.
I guess we're just about ready to get started, let me introduce you to the doctor.

Enter large CRAB.

LAMB
Aah! Crab!

N.O.A.O.S.
That's right. Mr. Lamb, I'd like you to meet your crab surgeon. Crab, this is Mr. Lamb.

LAMB
I don't want that crab anywhere near me.

NOAOS
Mr. Lamb! Dr. Crab is one of our finest surgeons.

CRAB opens and closes claws.

LAMB
How can a crab perform surgery?

NOAOS
Very carefully!

LAMB
Does he use tools?

NOAOS
Of course he uses tools. How would one perform surgery without tools, Mr. Lamb?

LAMB
I don't know. I thought with his claws, maybe.

NOAOS
That's absurd.

CRAB opens and closes its claws again.

LAMB
But how will it perform the surgery? Do crabs even have eyes?

NOAOS
Of course they have eyes, they have incredible eyes. How else would they see things on the bottom of the deep, dark ocean? This crab probably has the best eyes of any doctor--crab or human--in this entire hospital.

LAMB
Can't I just have a human doctor?

NOAOS
None of our human doctors are trained in this type of surgery. I might be able to arrange for a lobster to perform the surgery on you if you'd prefer, but we'd have to place a couple calls to another hospital out-of-state.

CRAB scuttles across the floor towards LAMB.

LAMB
Aah! Keep it away!

NOAOS
That's no way to be talking to the crab that will be operating on you.

LAMB
Get that crab out of my room right now!

NOAOS
Stop complaining, we're about to give you your anaesthetic injection.

Enter SCORPION.