Closed on Sunday

The man left his house today to pick up a cup of his favorite Italian Ice from his favorite Italian Ice Dispensary. When he got there, he pulled on the door, but it wouldn't open. He squinted at a sign that he now saw read "Closed On Sundays."

Closed on Sunday! Closed on Sunday! What--what--what--what--are we living--are we living--in the VATICAN? Are we living IN THE VAAAAATICAN????

He punched a passerby. He smashed a glass window with his fist. He bit a steel pole holding up a street sign. He kicked the cement wall of the Italian Ice Dispensary very hard.

CLOSED ON SUNDAY! CLOSED ON SUNDAY?!?!?!?!? Whaaaaaaaat iiiizzzzzzzzz thiiiiiiiiiiiissssssss?? THE VAT-I-CAAAAANNNNNNNNN...???!!!???



The man rammed the concrete wall of the Italian Ice Dispensary over and over again until he became dizzy and he noticed a little sticky red spot on the wall. He disarmed a police officer and fired shots wildly into the air. The police officer tried to wrestle the gun away from the man, and the man fired two shots into his own left foot. He dropped the gun and limped off, trailing blood behind him.

Closed...on Sunday? Closed...on Sunday?

The policeman tackled him from behind and hit him sharply in the jaw with his nightstick. The man bared his teeth and the policeman hit him again. Some teeth skipped across the street and fell into the sewer. The man made an exaggerated biting motion and the policeman hit him once more with the nightstick. Finally, the man calmed down. He lay back, panting.

It's been a tough year, he said.