Scottywood Raps!

Scottywood Raps!

DATE: 2003.
GENRE: Freestyle Rap.
THOSE INVOLVED: Scottywood, Dan, Rioux.
INTEREST TO THOSE INVOLVED: 10/10.
INTEREST TO THOSE NOT INVOLVED: 9/10.
COMMENTS: In the next part of my "I Inexplicably Convince Friends To Do Monumentally Embarrassing Things On Video For My Enjoyment Series" (really, am I this persuasive? I should start a cult.), we have Scottywood Raps! I remember the first time I heard Scottywood freestyle rap. It was on the bus coming home from the senior picnic or some other such event towards the end of senior year. Once he started, we made him keep going for the rest of the ride. Pretty much the whole time -- especially when he rapped absolutely out of the blue (and doing total freestyle -- he very obviously hadn't planned any of this) that my arms were "like twigs" because I "[ate] nothing but figs," -- I was basically dying. I'm not sure I've ever laughed harder in my life.

So that semester I took a film class, and I wrote a movie called "I Love Lucid: or A Journey Through the Subconscious." The "plot" -- someone has a lucid dream and dives into his brain to unlock the mysteries of his subconscious with famed psychoanalyst Dr. Carl Jung -- was pretty much just an excuse to show a bunch of weird things I thought were funny, with the movie's centerpiece being Scottywood's freestyle rapping. Unbelievably, he agreed. We shot a bunch of takes, just because it was so hilarious. The awkward pauses, the made-up words, the baffling rhyme choices (is there an easier rhyme in the English language than -ed? And yet he called Dan a "ted," as if this is an insult, over and over again, because that's the first -ed word he could think of) -- there's gold in just about every one of these takes (and I'm not just talking about Scottywood's highlighter-yellow paper belt).

Way back in the day, when I was making web sites on Angelfire, I transcribed/translated the whole video -- you can read that here. But don't read it until you've watched the video. The best moments need to surprise you (I was going to list timestamps for my favorite parts, but even that would blow it too much).