Genie

Oh my god I found a genie.

HELLO. I AM A GENIE. I WILL GRANT YOU ONE THOUSAND WISHES.

One thousand? That's too many.

WELL MOST PEOPLE WOULD THINK THAT'S A BLESSING.

There aren't a thousand different things that I want, can I just use a few?

NO YOU HAVE TO USE ALL OF THEM. THAT'S THE RULE.

All right, well I'll just use a few now and save the rest for later.

OKAY, BUT I CAN'T GO BACK INTO MY BOTTLE UNTIL YOU USE ALL OF THEM, AND IN THE MEANTIME I'LL CONTINUE GLOWING AND MAKING THIS WHOOSH SOUND AND SOME PEOPLE FIND IT DIFFICULT TO SLEEP WHEN I'M DOING THAT.

Fine. Just give me a million dollars, a thousand times in a row.

FINE BUT THAT ONLY COUNTS AS ONE WISH. THOSE ARE THE RULES.

(jumps out the window to escape the burden of the genie)

NO UNTIL YOU USE ALL THE WISHES YOU CAN'T DIE EITHER.