Bobby the sullen ventriloquist's dummy

Say, Bobby. I heard you recently went on a first date, but it didn't go very well, because you were too stiff.

(DUMMY shrugs.)

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Say, Bobby. I heard you were grounded because you shouted at your parents that they didn't understand what you were going through.

(DUMMY sighs.)

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Say, Bobby. I heard you didn't do very well on your math test, because your teacher says your head is full of knots.

(DUMMY looks at its shoes, ashamed.)