Get fit

Want an easier way to get the shape you've always dreamed of? We guarantee that with this program you will have the BODY YOU DESERVE with only FIFTEEN SECONDS of exercise A DAY for SEVENTY-FIVE THOUSAND DAYS. If you do not have a better body after seventy-five thousand days we will GOBBLE YOUR COCK or the cock of a person very close to you and that is a GAR-ANN-TEE!!!!

"HOW DOES IT WORK" you ask. So there are these things called calories, or "girth particles." All the food you eat creates girth particles that contribute on a particular level to your girth. But exercising makes them try to "fight" each other, because when you exercise there's all kinds of stuff moving around and that makes them jumpy. And then a lot of them die and are flushed out of your body in the form of "phlegm." Exercise activates these hidden phlegm capabilities.

Honestly, I am not lying to you. Fuck you if you think I am.

Fifteen seconds a day is no time at all, if you can count as high as to fifteen, do it now, and that is all the time you have to spend exercising, although if you do it too fast then it will be not enough time and if you do it too slow because you forget some of the numbers then it will actually be EVEN LESS TIME than what you believe to be fifteen seconds. But if you buy this exercise package then it also comes with a Grandfather's Clock so you can always know when fifteen seconds is and you can exercise to your fullest. It is also recommended that you lift the Grandfather's Clock because that is good exercise.



Every working person can do all the exercises for fifteen seconds a day! It is just that easy! What kind of exercises can you do? Oh, YOU KNOW, run in place, jog, jog in place, eating cake, retching, swatting at flies.

PLEASE DO NOT LIFT ANY CLOCKS IT IS VERY DANGEROUS AND WE ASSUME NO LIABILITY