BOSS: Here we are, on the roof. Nowhere to run now, as if you could run with your hands tied behind the back and your head and your ankles tied together and you being roced to kneel in front of me like you are! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
HENCHMAN: Heh.
DUNHAM: (muttering) Don't say a word.
BOSS: Oh, you'll tell me where you've hidden those jewels before the sun sets! Oh yes, I think you will!
DUNHAM: Never!
JAMISON: Never.
BOSS: Let's start things off with a "bang," shall we? Dunham, I know you're in charge of this operation. Your partner is useless to me--tell me where the jewels are or he gets it!
(45 seconds of silence)
HENCHMAN: They're not talking, boss.
BOSS: Very well! Throw (points at Dunham) him off the building.
HENCHMAN: You got it.
(Henchman grabs Dunham under the arms and drags him to the ledge.)
DUNHAM: Hey, what the--
BOSS: You were expendable, Jamison. Blame your partner.
DUNHAM: No, I--
(Henchman throws Dunham off the building)
JAMISON: Holy shit!
BOSS: That's right! Now you see how serious we are about those jewels!
JAMISON: Fuck fuck fuck, what did you fucking do, man?
BOSS: If you had spoken up sooner, you could have saved your partner. Now, where are the jewels.
JAMISON: I don't know, man!
BOSS: Don't play coy with me, Dunham. I know you buried--
JAMISON: Dunham is dead! I'm Johnston! Holy shit.
BOSS: What?
JAMISON: Dunham is dead! You threw him off the building, holy shit.
BOSS: I--what? Well, I don't believe you.
HENCHMAN: He's telling the truth, boss.
BOSS: What? How do yo uknow?
HENCHMAN: Cuz I remembered that one was Jamison cuz he has that tattoo on his arm.
JAMISON: It's true, I swear.
HENCHMAN: Also they don't really look anything at all alike.
JAMISON: Oh God, Dunham.
BOSS: God damnit. Well why did you throw the other one off if you know he was the one who hid the jewels?
HENCHMAN: You pointed at him. I figured you knew what you were doing.
BOSS: Well shit. Are you sure you don't know where the jewels are?
JAMISON: Yes! Yes!
BOSS: OK, OK, stop screaming. Henchman, go look over the edge and see if he's still alive down there.
(Henchman looks)
HENCHMAN: No way.
BOSS: Fucking A.
JAMISON: Oh God oh God.
BOSS: Well I don't know how we're going to find those jewels. Unless...
(Days later. Lawyer's office. Dunham's family sits around, dabbing at their eyes. Boss, Henchman and Jamison--still tied up and nervous--sit in chairs in the back, trying to look inconspicuous.)
LAWYER: "And to my beloved daughter Cheryl, I leave $150,000. Take it and make a life with it, and make me proud."
(Cheryl breaks down crying. Boss taps his fingers against his thigh and looks at the clock.)
LAWYER: "And to my faithful wife Diane, I leave the Secret Jewels of Askhamaradon..."
(Boss leans forward nervously.)
LAWYER: "...which are hidden in..." well, no point finishing that sentence, since Diane died in a car crash on her way to this will reading.
(Cheryl nods sadly. Lawyer tears the paper up. Boss makes a tortured sound.)
HENCHMAN: Don't worry, Boss. Now we've got a clue--we know they're in something.
(Boss jumps up and rushed to the desk.)
BOSS: Give me those!
LAWYER: What? These useless shreds of paper? They're useless, unless you want to know where the jewels were, but why would you?
(Lawyer throws the shreds of paper out the window.)
BOSS: Aah! Why did you do that?
LAWYER: Excuse me?
BOSS: You saw where the jewels were hidden. You saw on the paper. You read to the end of the sentence and you know where they're hidden.
LAWYER: Preposterous!
BOSS: Tell me!
LAWYER: I haven't the faintest--
BOSS: Henchman!
(Henchman, who hasn't been paying attention, in one motion jumps up and throws Lawyer out the window.)
BOSS: Aah! What are you doing?
HENCHMAN: Throwing him out the window like you asked.
BOSS: Not him! One of the women! He knew where the jeweels were! And I didn't even tell you to throw anyone out the window!
HENCHMAN: I guess I just assumed.
CHERYL: Hey! Who are you anyway?
BOSS: I'm...the deceased's business associate. Dunham.
CHERYL: No, I think you're that Jamison.
BOSS: Yeah, yeah, that's it.
CHERYL: The very same Johnston who we just recently discovered was trying to betray our father and get him killed so he could have the jewels for himself?
BOSS: Is that true?
JAMISON: No.
CHERYL: Traitor!
(Henchman throws Boss out the window.)
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment