Off the project

GREG
Did you get my work?

BOSS
Yes, I got it here. And I'm sorry but I'm taking you off the project.

GREG
What? I don't understand, I thought this was some of my best work.

BOSS
Greg, we can't air this. It's filthy.

GREG
Filthy? It's a cat food commercial, what could--

BOSS
This is one of the most reprehensible scripts I've ever seen.

GREG
What?

BOSS
This copy is just--"he scoops the Fancy Feast into a bowl. He traces the cat's body from the small of the back down the spine to the tail. The cat purrs sensuously."

GREG
What's wrong with that? It's a cat owner treating his pet to the finest luxury cat food on the market.

BOSS
At the bottom of page 16, he strokes the cat's tail, takes the tip of it into his mouth and closes his eyes. Which reminds me of another problem--this is a 30 second spot and you've written nearly seventy pages.

GREG
We can pare it down.

BOSS
But that's a relatively minor problem.

GREG
I'm afraid you're just going to have to come out and say it because I'm still not following you.

BOSS
Standards sent it back. They said it qualified as bestiality.

GREG
Bestiality?

BOSS
You're off the project, Greg. This work is just far too creepy.

GREG
But I just followed the product. It's a full-bodies, luxurious food, for owners who want to treat their cats to the best. It explodes with taste and opens the senses, and--

GREG absent-mindedly begins liking his hand and using it to wash his face. BOSS notices.

BOSS
What are you doing?

GREG
I'm--nothing. I'm doing nothing.

A breeze blows back BOSS's curtain. GREG sees the nest. He shows his teeth and hisses. GREG pounces across the desk and swats at BOSS, who jumps out the window and flaps off.

BOSS
CAW CAW!