What do you mean the camcorder wasn't working?
I think this one is really funny.
Money line: Yes, Lindsey, it was that important. It's not everyday an alligator crawls out of his little swamp and grabs your baby. It's not everyday you rip open an alligator's mouth and stick your arm between his serrated teeth to grab your son from the jaws of death. It's not everyday you bean an alligator bloody, pin it down and proceed to pummel it to within an inch of its life. How many times have you done it? Because I've done it once. And it would have been nice to get it on fucking tape! Meanwhile, we come back tomorrow I guaran-damn-tee you the chimp will still be hanging from the tree. Yeah, thank the Lord we got that on tape.
10/21
Guest blogger Pac-Man's contribution to the site.
Money line: I've been thinking of writing my memoirs. But then Ms. Pac-Man (excuse me, now she's Miss Brownstein again) reminded me all I've ever done is eat dots. Why the fuck did I ever marry her? I should have just made her go through with the abortion. I never would have had to see her again.
Things read on the Ashlee Simpson message board
If this blog ever wins me a Pulitzer, it will be because of my coverage of the Ashlee Simpson lip-sync scandal.
Money line: Ashlee's life is much less significant than the Garbasail
Complete October Archives:
0926-1002
1003-1009
1010-1016
1017-1023
1024-1030
1031-1106
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